Question:
Hi,
I am really not able to handle this right now and am losing faith in life, the future, and all that I want to be.
I am 20 years old and had sex for the first time 8 days ago (using a condom), and for the past 4 days have been noticing tender skin under my penis, a small pimple, and slight burning on the side of my crotch. I am so sure that this is herpes right now and the thought of moving on with life just seems too difficult. I read all of the messages that are posted and their responses and am somewhat relieved that life does go on, but at the same time, I just feel so hopeless, lost, and almost suicidal.
The thing is, I had such huge plans for my life. I always took pride in the fact that I knew I could be anything I wanted to be, and now every thought about my life before a week ago, the thought of having to face a potential partner with this, the thought of losing emotional confidence in myself is unbearable. I'm sorry to rant and rave, but I just feel hopeless.
I know that life goes on, but I'm just not sure that I can. It really feels like I'm at the end of the road.
The thing that kills me is that my life was perfect. I really felt that after a lot of past struggles, I was finally emerging from the clouds of fear and doubt, and on my way to a great period in life. I honestly feel like this may be a mountain I cannot climb.
I'm scared and so incredibly depressed that I'm just not sure I can go on.

Answer:
Well first of all don't stress out, you run a greater risk of an outbreak if you do. I too just got this stuff 16 days ago. My best advice is this- Run don't walk to the store and buy Lysine, Vit C, Vit E. I'm taking 1000mg lysine 4 times a day until all symptoms stop. Then I cut back to 2000 per day. If I get a funny feeling down there i go take a another one I also am taking Garlic, Grape Seed, Siberian Ginseng, Echinacea, Goldenseal, Acidophilus, Vit B complex. I am also only drinking water and green tea. I started having the tingle sensation 3 days after sex with my now ex boyfriend who has avoided me since then. I immediatly started researching my symptoms and diagnosed myself with this crap. After 5 days of symptoms and being in denial I decided to start fighting it instead of feeling sorry for myself. I ran fever and felt like the flu coming on for 2 days after starting vitamins but since I have felt great. No more strange feelings south of the border no sores and I actually feel better than I have ever before. Guess my body needed some nurishment via Vitamins. However, I think my pee could glow in the dark. I also quit eating nuts, chocolate, caffeine, gelatine. Christmas so so hard because i usually eat all of that stuff this time of year. You can find a list on the net of foods to avoid- i'll look for the list if you need me too and send it to ya. As far as feeling bad because you now have to live with this if you do have it, Well I am the type of person who tries to find the good in everything. I am choosing to find the blessing in it. I always wanted to refrain from sex til marriage. Unfortuanlty not doing so is what got me in this predicament in the first place. But now I know I'll be more likely to stick to it this time. I also will never not tell someone i'm seriously dating that i have it. They deserve to know and I can weed out the ones who can't love me in spite of it. If a man can love me with this then he can love me with cancer or any other thing that i might face one day. Don't lose your faith, whatever you do. There is a blessing you just have to find it. You can still have great plans for your life and still follow your dreams. You can do everything you did before you got it. This doesn't change who you are unless you let it. Don't give this sick virus power over you. You must control it, not let it control you. Educate yourself. It is power. Now go to the store if you don't have lysine in your cabinet aleady and take water with you and take them in the parking lot .
Get them in your system immediatly. When you get back read up on what vitamins you should take and educate yourself. Rememeber KEEP THE FAITH!

Answer:
I was a good girl. Never drank, smoked, swore, watched or listened to bad/ inappropraite things. I only had sex w/ one person, my ex bf of 3 yrs and then randomly for no freakin reason I hooked up with this guy ( not sex) I had been seeing and let him go down on me...I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THE COLD SORE ON HIS MOUTH...AND I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS HERPES OR THAT IT COULD BE TRANSMITTED!!! "sob"... 2 weeks later I have these awful sores and my doc diagnoses the worst possible thing I have ever heard in my entire life!! I am so shocked and angry w/ myself and with him, so outraged that the scientists and pharmaceutical companies won't find a cure b/c keeping people permanently on treatments is more profitable then helping people reclaim their lives and their self-pride!!! All I feel I am is a disease, not a person, not who I was, just a disgusting, infective, disease. I don't feel there's any hope for the future. What kind of life is it when you will never be able to have sex w/ your husband w/o a ?f****ing? condom and that I will constantly be in panic thinking that at any given time or day I am contagious and I could give this life-sucking disease to the man I love. And that if something goes terribly wrong I could give my newborn child permanent and serious damages or even death. Or just have huge, ugly scars over my stomach from the cesarean. I am a very outgoing, religious, bright, pretty girl and now I have this mark of shame for the rest of my life. I am in constant pain and emotional agony. How could this of happened to me?! Why!!!!?? I know 100?s of people personally who have slept w/ randoms left and right and they have never contracted ?sh**!!!? I mess up once and its over?.Life sucks and its over for me. I don?t want to live w/ this disease and I don?t want to live with the shame. I hate myself for my stupid, stupid mistakes when I knew 100% they were wrong. I KNEW BETTER!!! Who I am, and what this disease has done to me don?t mix. The person I wanted to become does not fit the profile of a disease-ridden, dirty, contagious, hyper sensitive, depressed, mess of what formerly was a nice, confident, ambitious girl.

Answer:
WHOA...you guys need to stop bashing yourselves so bad. i understand though because i felt the same way when i first realized i was infected. but i PROMISE it gets better with time, you know this, its just hard to cope with right now. you can still have a great life, you can still have sex with your husband without a condom, you can still do ALL the things that you always wanted to do. you call yourself a disease and you call herpes "life sucking" but how much do you really know about it? educated yourself and you will realize its not really the end of the world. herpes isnt the culprit here, its society as it has turned herpes into a plague. and its not the disease itself, its the location of the outbreak. think about people's reactions to herpes on their mouths (cold sores) and those same exact sores can be below the waist and all of a sudden that person is a disease? well the same disease lived on their mouths before their genitals so what has really changed? like i said, educate yourself and things will be much easier...knowledge is power.

Answer:
hey StillAlive and everyone else....I really felt the need to hop in here cause I was where you are ten years ago. Yes, it is REALLY hard to adjust to this....the last boyfriend I had before I met my husband infected me, without my knowing it....but we married and both lived with it for 10 years. Please please please do not EVER think that you can not have a wonderful family life. I have the most WONDERFUL five year old daughter and I am here to say that if you want kids and a family life, you CAN have it. You have to come to terms with the fact that you have the disease, know how it can affect you and learn to control it. Through supression and stress control I had the amazing experience of vaginal birth. Even if I hadn't been able to have her naturally, is not a small scar on your belly worth the love of a child and family? All things are possible when you achieve a happy and healthy mental state. I can't say that my life with herpes has been a breeze, far from it, but with a little help from the great people on sites like this and support groups in your area, you can learn all the tools you need to get on with your life. One of my wonderful friends said this to me....."you did not START it, you GOT it". You are somebody and don't ever let any disease try to tell you otherwise!

Answer:
I completely understand how you all feel. I am only 18 years old and became infected with HSV December 4th, 2004. I also wanted to kill myself when I found out. It was my first sexual encounter also. I experienced a lot pain during intercourse and a lot of bleeding afterwords. On the 7th it was all I could do to walk. I asked a friend if this was normal and she told me no. So I asked my mother to take me to the hospital because my friend had told me that I might be torn. Shortly after arriving at the hospital my father showed up. I could have died of embaresment, but the worst was yet to come. Everyone left the room when the doctor came to examine me. The doctor said he thought it was chlamidiya but that it would take about a week to get the results. As soon as he left the room I started crying hystarically and yelling (God NO!). Everyone came in and asked what was wrong. I told them. I was given medication and sent home. I was told to finish up with my OB-GYN in three days. My friend said "at least its something curable". When I went to the doctor I was informed that the hospital tests came back negative and that he thought I had herpes. I went home and didnt get out of bed for a week. My results came back positive. :cry: I was so crushed that someone I thought cared about me would do this to me. When I called and told him he said I didnt get it from him and that I hadnt been a virgin before being with him. And then he left me. I dont even know where he is now. I know its wrong but I feel sooo much hate toward him. I dont know if I can ever forgive him for what he has done to me. My entire life is now ruined.

Answer:
i havent gone to the dr. yet but i diagnosed myself with herpes 4 days ago...i bawled and i cant tell my mom because she will kill me probably literally i dont want to tell any of my so called friends because everyone knows how "true" friends run their mouths. i was having a conversation with my boyfriend who i know gave it to me because i just had a blood test 6 months ago and hes the only one ive slept with sence, but anyway ive been having HORRIBLE pains in my belly and a high fever ive been taking pain killers and antinflamitorys for all that shit and it helps but not to much but he told me that i pry have a disease or cold and im like disease what do you mean and hes like dont think that you got anything from me and got kinda cocky....im scared and i dont want him to leave me but i dont know how to tell him. ive been the one avoiding him until i have the certain answer even though i already know what it is. I thought about how i will never get another boyfriend and if anyone finds out i will look like a "dirty person" then i went to this site. im SO glad ive found it i still cry about it but im determined to make the best out of my life, having herpes doesnt change you or what you are inside your heart and mind are still the same. hearing other ppls storys let me know that im not alone and have made me look at this in another way but i still cant face the man who did this to me because hes going to turn it all around on me but i know the truth.....keep your heads up high nothings EVER as bad as it seems make the best of what you have