Question:
Hey.. this is my first time posting.. to start it off, I'll go with the basics.. I'm only 17. I've had 2 sexual partners, but regardless, I do remember having cold sores when I was younger, and think I may have given it to my current partner (not a new one, one of the 2) orally, and gotten it back myself. Is that a possibility?

I haven't been tested yet- just today I found one reddish, slightly tender bump/sore? in the genital area..

Now for the major problem.. Parents. They don't know about the sex.. I can manage to get tested at a clinic, and I'm going with my boyfriend, so he can be tested too.. Buuuut, again, the parents. They're pretty strict already, and I don't know how to tell them, or even if I should.. I turn 18 this August, so, do I go to a clinic, get tested, get a prescription something, and tell them when I'm 18? Never tell them? Tell them asap and be grounded until I can afford to move out, without a computer, cell phone, or any other luxury?

ANY advice or (not cruel) comments welcome, invited, and asked for!
~L.

Answer:
Well,
I can speak from both stand points. I am a mother of two and I have a daughter. I would want to know if this was going on in her life. As mothers we are born to be nurturers. If you have a close relationship with your mom you should tell her. We moms tend to be concerned foremost and not judgemental. You are her child, its her job to protect you and guide you. She may have some good motherly advice for you that could be of comfort to you now. I would suspect that if they punished you it would be only temporary until they decided what to do. Sometimes we say things like "go to your room", so we can take some time for ourselves to try to understand the problem and figure out how to handle it. Your mothers first priority is probably going to be the birth control or abstinence talk with you if she hasn't already done that. The best relationship for you to have with your mom is one that is open and honest. Your almost an adult, by law anyway, and soon you will have a more adult relationship with your mom. If you don't tell your mom and if she is anything like my mom, she'll find out anyway. Moms really do have eyes in the back of their heads. She'll find your prescription or someone will " accidently" tell her. You need to decided if she should find out from you, or some other way. Yes, either way is going to be hard and uncomfortable but its your call. And then of course there is the other view. You could go get checked out without her knowing and you may find out that you dont have it. But if thats the case then you really need to better protect yourself from this ever happening again. Use protection and educate yourself on how STDs are transmitted. You may just get a second chance, don't make the same mistake twice. God Bless, I'll keep you in my prayers and let us know how it turns out.

Answer:
Heh.. thanks...

My mom and I do have a pretty good relationship, but she's also really strict. If it were up to her, my computer would already be swimming at the bottom of the pool- she doesn't like the time I spend on it.. see, things like her suggesting she do that- that's what worries me. Already this past holiday season, my parents gave me a big long talk.. again.. about how I'd been 'irresponsible' and not 'mature' ...because I went to sleep really late (I was on break) and I didn't jump up at 8 with them and eat breakfast and read the paper and that nonsense.. If things like that trigger an hour long rant from them to me.... Telling them about this would really really be scary..

:| Any advice on that?

Answer:
hummmmmmmm.. well lets see. When all else fails- PRAY! works everytime for me. Ask God for wisdom and guidance and that your parents will be understanding. Sometimes things in life are too big for our hands and the only way to have any peace and understanding is by giving them to God and letting Him handle them. His hands are the only ones big enough for our huge problems. Trust that He make everything work out for your good and it will. Put your mind at easy and quit worrying about it. It will all work out when you get God involved. I'll keep you in my prayers as well.

Answer:
Regarding your concerns I ask you a question. Why do you want to tell your parents? Is it because you feel you have to come clean, as if you've crashed the family car? Or are you feeling scared and alone, and you just want to get that burden off your chest? Believe me, I'm coming up on 30 here and i still find few things of more comfort than dad telling me "everything is gonna be alright". But that doesn't mean I'll ever share my little problem with him or my mother.

It all depends on your relationship with your parents. Your sexual activity is really nobody's business but your own, so there is no solid reason why your parents HAVE to know. And your doctor is required to keep your medical issues hush hush, so there's no risk of them finding out from anyone but you.

But if you're looking for a shoulder to cry on (hell sometimes we all just need a hug, and who better for a hug than mom and dad), and you trust your parent's for that support you need (we all need that support from somewhere), then the truth will set you free.

But never feel you HAVE to confess it to anyone. The only person you have a responsibility to is you - and whomever you happen to be sharing your bed with.

HSV should never be a teenager's introduction to adulthood, but the fact is you are going to start maturing a lot faster than everyone around you from this point on, and you need to be ready for the responsibility that comes with this.

Don't lose your spirit, and keep smiling. No matter what you decide it will be the right choice. Trust me...Everything is going to work out just fine.
:wink:
D