Question:
Hi Everyone,

I know the feelings and issues that have perplexed me since I found out I had this virus.

I also know I have given it to a couple of people without evening knowing I had it.

My outbreaks are very few and far between and it is only one spot right at the top of my butt crack. I do get sores on my mouth but they are as few and far between as my rear end.

When it first really got my attention, I was detoxing off of a serious drug habit and I thought maybe my body was fighting off some kind of yeast infection. Rationalization and justification! I paid it no mind until I started seeing the boyfriend I have now. It has been 7 years, but I gave it to him regardless.

He noticed it about 2 weeks after we started dating, little red dots on his penis. He brought it to my attention and I immediately got all defensive. Me? Never! I ran right tot he doctor had a papsmear and all the tests with blood work and produced a clean bill of health to him. He must have gotten it from somewhere else, it couldn't possibly me!!!! I had the document to prove it besides.

More time slipped by and every now and then he would get those tiny red dots, about as big as a pin head, not many just a few here and there on his penis. After a couple of outbreaks, the odor started, not hellishly terribly but a strange odor none the less. The red dots would appear, the odor would be present, he would itch like fleas had been dumped in his drawers, and a few days later the skin would sluff off abit and that would be the end of it. No visible blisters, no scabs. Just the red dots as I explained.

He started investigating on line, and found a Dr. to write to and exlain his situation to. This dr. replied that it sounded like genital herpes but there was no way to be sure unless he saw them first hand.

All along I got my occassional cold sore, and the one spot on my back would pop up maybe once a year. I did some reading on herpes and found out people can be A-symptomatic. So I ran right to the dr. and made them do a blood work up on me again. Results...nothing showed that I was infected with anything. Clean bill of blood once again.

After a time and reading and researching I was convinced what I had and that I had given it to my boyfriend. Finally when the sore on my back popped out, I ran right to the doctor and had it cultured. The results were right on this time.

God, I felt so bad for giving this to my boyfriend, I cried and cried. It didn't seem to sink in really till the tests came back positive. The old addage that love rules all came to bare for me. The love he feels for me couldn't be stripped not even with herpes. And even though it is a nasty thing and I wish I could go back and change things, I am so blessed to have my boyfriend, who loves me unconditionally and accepts me, regardless of my virus.

I hate having this thing, but have come to accept the fact that I do have it. Feeling that I can do what things I can to keep the outbreaks to a minimum. When I have any type of outbreak to keep my body fluids of any kind to myself. Like I said I hate having this but I do and I refuse to let this run or ruin my life in any way. I have worked to hard in the past 11 years to make some of my dreams come true to let this virus burn it down. I refuse to give in or give up!

LIfe has a tendency to give us challenges we have to work hard to get past and also gives us paths we have to choose to walk. Head up, back straight and forward intoa beautiful future for all of us!

Answer:
wow, that was a great story, very uplifing. :D i myself am in almost the same boat as u. i was just diagnosed yesterday with herpes type 1 after being tested last week. i had a sore cultured. my doctor said it looks as if it's something i contracted recently because i've never had this problem in the past but then again you never know. i had an ex boyfriend of 5 years who cheated on me with my aunt (yes my aunt) who had herpes so i could have gotten it from him and it could have remained dormant over the past 2 and half years. like you, all of my paps have always come back normal. i know have a boyfriend of only 4 months who wills oon become my fiance. he asked me back in nove to pick out aring setting. :P the time has beens hort but we just know, he's my soulmate. throughout this past week he's def been my rock.

now that i have my results he's decided to stand by my side and says he fell in love wit what's on the inside and no ailment can change that. i am very blessed to have a man like that. i know eventually if he doesn't have it (he hasn't been tested yet) he will get it and that's a chance he's willing to take. i guess for any of you out there who think you will never find anyone, you will. there are people out there who will love you regardless. i wish you lots of luck laurie and may God bless you. your story really has uplifted me.

Answer:
Thank you for your sentiment, it is nice to hear. I am glad that what I have gone through touches someone else, I can only pray it will continue on. It is nice to read someone else like me, it makes a person not feel so alone.

Blessed Be, and good luck with your new life!

:D

Answer:
sunshine,

I just wanted to say thank you so much for the uplifting story. I feel like i will never find anyone that will still love me if i tell them i have H. And what you said makes me feel like someday i will. I have been shutting people out because i dont want to have to tell someone. I feel like a part of me is stripped now. I hope to god...i pray someone will love me like that someday. Ive heard awful stories about people telling and gossiping badly once people tell the wrong person. Im in the public eye with my job and that would be awful if people were to spread that. Im a good girl. and I hope I will meet someone special too. god bless.

Shynow:)

Answer:
no problem laurie. we have to be strong and this forum helpsto know that we're not alone. :)

Answer:
hello shy now,
wow...i'm speechless. i'm glad your story helped you. before telling my boyfriend i seriously thought he would leave me to. i guess that's my own insecurity but i thought that maybe he would think i cheated on him and that, that was how i got it...i mean i felt so many things could have gone wrong. i was so afraid. the way he is i should have known better but we're all only human so anything can happen. like you, had i not had him i'd be very afraid to tell a potential partner about it, you never know how one will react. it's even harder because i'm just learning about it myself. you sound like a nice person and i'm sure God will bless you with a good man along with the strength and courage to life your life to the fullest. as for being int he public eye i'm not sure what you do but i can't even imagine how hard that must be. sadly enough in this world people are very judgemental especially when they don't understand something. they basically tend to talk out their ass*ss lol ;) i wish you lots of luck hun. :)

Answer:
Folks, I got HSV2 from a girl who did the whole "who me, I'm virginal, I get tested" routine.

When I told her the news it turned out that she was totally clueless about HSV. She actually thought that the PAP checked for HSV, at least I think she did as I was not too bothered about the small print by then. Either way, a PAP test to her was like a clean bill of health.

FOLKS, IT AIN'T !!!

When I got tested I used to insist on a PCR test or whatever blood test would check for HSV antibodies. I've been checking for this twice annually with all my STDs check ups (twice annually) for the last 7 years.

And all f**ked up by one stupid b*tch who did not know the difference. The truth is, its MY FAULT but when you have feelings for a girl and she does the whole "I'm clean" routine and you feel like you are calling her a slut if you continue they make you feel bad.

If only I had played the "bastard" and forced her to show me results. Now I get to play the HSV carrier all my life. I knew more about HSV that many non-carriers after another "virginal" girl failed to tell me she had it and had sex with me during an OB! Nice but her attempt to pass it to me failed.

So to all the ladies out there, its not only the men that are spreadsing this in dumb and callous ways.

Its just a shame that people only get wise after they have it.

Please ladies, tell your friends that a PAP smear ain't gonna help much of anything. If 1 in 5 as genital HSV, you are pobably more likely to come into contact with that than anything else and even HIV can't regularly get past a condom whereas HSV, as we all now know, can. Easily. SO get a PCR test when you get your PAP.