Question:
Folks, I got HSV2 from a girl who did the whole "who me, I'm virginal, I get tested" routine. I have to say that she is a fine woman. Caring and all that cr@p but I would take a slut, liar who was HSV free rather than this sh*t.

When I told her it turned out that she was totally clueless about HSV. She actually thought that PAP chedked for HSV, at least I think she did as I was not too bothered about the small print by then. Either way, a PAP test to her was like a clean bill of health.

IT SO IS NOT !!!

When I used to get tested I used to insist on a PCR test/blood test that would check for HSV antibodies. I was told that was the only thing to do if there was no OB. Funny but at every check up the medic felt that I was a bit too conscientious. Fuuny how things happen. I've been checking for this twice annually with all my STDs check ups (twice annually) for the last 7 years.

I got this all f**ked up by one stupid woman who did not know the difference between a PAP and a PCR was that a blood test was actually needed for Herpes to be detected. The truth is, its MY FAULT but when you have feelings for a girl and she does the whole "I'm clean" routine and you feel like you are calling her a slut if you continue. If only I had played the "bastard". Now I get to play the HSV carrier all my life. I knew more about HSV that most non-carriers after another "vrginal" girl failed to tell me she had it and had sex with me during an OB! That was in 1997. From that time onwards I checked twice a year, every year and never had a positive or an OB.

Its just a shame that people only get wise after they have it. If I had realised she knew so little I would not have even put myself at risk. We had unprotected sex because she told me she was clean. I had intended on having a relationship with her. Now, this changes things. Many of you out there will say it should not but sorry, for me it does. She burned me because of her ignorance/pride. I cannot forgive that.

To all the ladies out there, its not only the men that are spreading this in dumb and callous ways. Frankly, I don't really care whether I got it through ignorance or on purpose. I just wish like you that I did not have it.

Please ladies, tell your friends that a PAP smear ain't gonna help much of anything. If 1 in 5 has genital HSV, you are probably more likely to come into contact with that than anything else and even HIV can't regularly get past a condom whereas HSV, as we all now know, can and pretty easily to during an OB.

I told the girl who gave this to me to use my doctor because I knew he would do a PCR test but did she? No! The "What, you calling me a slut" attitude took over. Silly me for caring and trusting. There's a BIG lesson there. Most people don't know what the heck they are talking about with STDs even if they do have college degrees which she does. She did'nt know. Ignorance is one of the transmitting factors of this virus. So I "let" her give me H because I did not insist, because I wanted to be the "loving" partner. After all my prevous precautions!

Who looks more stupid now? Me obviously.

For me now, I ought to tell prospective non-carrier partners (if any), take a daily dose of Valtrex, to keep the asymptomatic shedding to a minimum, no sex during OBs and use the briefs and condom combo I mentioned in another post.

From what I have read, that'll keep the chances of a non-infected partner catching it down to below 2.5% or less. Small concellation for having this but its better than HIV. That's what I have to tell myself.

Its not so, so bad because I didn't throw my dick around before I got H but what really hurts is not being able to look and flirt with girls without knowing that you have this "secret". That sucks. Really sucks.

ps. I still love you ladies though :wink:

Answer:
Hehe, I completely hear you on all of that. :?

Ignorance is no excuse. Don't be ignorant, be intelligent and research things before you do them.

My story is a little bit different than yours, but hey - ended up on the same site right?

As for the feeling of not being able to flirt like you used to, etc... Yeah I know that feeling. I think the longest I was ever single in my entire dating life was 2 weeks. Until now. It's been about 2 months, and it's crazy what H does to your confidence.

Granted, I'm still dealing with my own issues from my last ex, but knowing guys are checking you out and not feeling up to the task of "educating" them about my condition eventually - well, it takes its toll on you.

*sighs* I am actually hoping that I end up meeting someone with H so that isn't a big problem, lol. Eh, we'll see.

Main point here is now you know. Don't trust the lil virgin routine again. We got lucky. It could have been something that would eventually kill you. And someday we'll get back into that dating habit. Just sucks having to tone it down... Life goes on, lol. :wink: