Question:
I have it. I have been devastated for the last three days. It's been horrible, but reading through these posts has given me some hope. I don't feel so alone now and now I feel like I have others to talk to about this that know exactly what I'm feeling right now.
It all started last weekend. I had (not sure if I still do) a guy that I was seeing. We went out and had a great time last Friday night and of course came back to my place and had unprotected sex. I never thought anything about it, but by Monday I was developing a sore and I got really worried. I stressed out and left work early and went to my doctor and felt great when I left. I thought for sure I was home free. The doctor looked at it and stated it looked like it was from shaving that it was just an ingrown hair or something. I made her do a culture just for peace of mind. She did all other std tests on me and told me not to stress. She was confident that everything was fine.
After this scare though I knew I wasn't going to have unprotected sex anymore. I thought it was bad thinking that I had it, but that I knew I didn't want to get it in the future because there was no way I could deal with the stress.
A couple of days later, the office called and said that my blood work came back fine. I still had to wait and see what the culture was, but I was still really relieved. I must say I didn't have sex after this though because I was too afraid.
I got home from work on Friday afternoon and the second I walked in the door, the phone was ringing. It was the doctor's office and that's when my world came crashing down. She told me again that my other tests had come back negative and then she paused and said, "but, the herpes culture came back positive". She apologized to me endlessly saying that she was truly shocked when she got the results because she says she looks at this everyday and it just didn't look like it. She thinks it's probably Simplex I , but either way you look at it, it's still horrible.
As soon as I hung up with her, I knew what I had to do. I called him and told him he had to come over right away, and he did. He knew something was wrong, but I couldn't tell him over the phone. I had all of his things on the table when he got here and I just came out with the news. He seemed really supportive at the time, but I have yet to hear from him. He's a really great guy and I don't want to make him out to be a jerk, but I'm too afraid to call him.
There is a possiblity that I got it from him, but there's also a really good chance that I didn't. I never slept around on him (I don't do that), but in between relationships, I do what I want. Now, I wish I could take it all back. I don't believe if he gave it to me, he knew about it, but this is absolutely devastating for me.
Last night was the worst. I ended up seeking help from a preist at a local Catholic church. I feel a lot better now.
I know that I did the right thing, but right now, I'm so lonely and I wonder how doing the right thing can get you into such a mess. It seems like it should pay off, but right now it hasn't.
I do feel some sort of hope for the future after reading your stories. I am so happy I have found this site. I've been getting on here and reading whenever I've been feeling down. I have only told my two closest friends that I know won't say anything. They have been extremely supportive. I thank God for that. I don't know what I would do without them, but they do not have the virus and so it's hard for them to understand the isolation that I'm feeling right now.
I also didn't realize there were so many people out there who have this. It's so taboo and I'm sure there are more people that I know that have this, but no one knows. I am just hoping that I can find happiness like I had with someone else. It's all I've ever wanted and it sucks to go from being on top of the world to being the lowest you've ever been in your life. Thank you for letting me share my story.

Answer:
Your right its given this rep by society as some sort of dirty thing, something only nasty people get. Totally untrue. 1 out of 4 people have it weither its 1 or 2, thats ALOT of people eh? Dont stress yourself over it, its not your fault. If that guy runs away its his own fault for being immature. Youll soon see its not the terrible disease some people make it out to be, its actually quite harmless and over time will eventually hardly ever show up. Some people have it and dont ever show any type of real blister and go their whole lives not even realizing they have it. Everything will be fine, your doin great! :D

Answer:
What can I say? Sorry you have joined the club but happy the club is doing something for you.

Its a rollercoaster. You'll feel asexual, then like a lepar, then okay, then great, then etc. etc. I would say stick with it but you don't have the choice. :)

The key thing is that it'll make you look at certain things and yourself more. You'll walk around ondering who else has this and why the stigma about it.

I hope your symptoms are few and far between. Good luck.

Answer:
Hey...just read your post.... I found out a week ago...probably the same time you did. I feel the same way as you. I do not know how to deal with it. I have a boyfriend but I think he gave it to me..Unintentionally through oral...but it is good to hear from someone who is feeling the same way I am, lonely. He is with me but I feel like he will leave me at any second. We should talk...Write Back

Answer:
When I found out i had H, my world came crashing down. My parents were supportive, but shocked and didn't truely know how to deal with it. I completely locked them out and still do to this day.

I had had several boyfriends and was a little off the rails, but as they were friends from school and I had known them years, thought that I would be safe. I took the attitude that I was being punnished for being way-ward. I wasn't living life the way that my parents wanted. I started dating again after about a year and moved in with a guy. He knew that I was infected and seemed to not mind. I stayed with him for 10 years.

I think he really used my condition as a way of doing what he wanted. He understood that I couldn't talk about it, and felt less of a person because of it. The relationship was very one sided and I was misserable.

2 years ago, I met B and fell totally in love. I told my then boyfriend that I was leaving as I wasn't happy. He threw everything back in my face. He now had H. I believe that he refused to use protection, so that he would get it, and I would then have to stay with him. It was a total nitemare. The truth of it was, when we went out, I would get very drunk and he would have sex with me when I was unconcious. I would wake up the next day, knowing that we had had sex, but not remembering anything about it. Another one of his nasty habbits!

Anyway. Since being with B, I have come to terms with the infection. I still don't like saying the word, but we can have proper conversations about it and I don't get depressed. This forum has helped. I have dealt with H on my own for 12 years and now, finally, have people that I can talk to.

Keep you head held high and don't worry about whether your current boyfriend is going to stay with you. If he doesn't, then HE is missing out. This condition is not the end of the world and you will find a man that will love you for you. Just keep strong and belive "you are worth it".

Good luck.

Answer:
Hmm, smart boyfriend. Unprotected sex when you have been drinking heavily. No surprises there then, lowered immune system aside.

I think many of us are p*ssed that we feel we will have to settle for less now we are diagnosed.

I used to pick and choose, not in a cruel or arrogant way but just be choosey. Heck, I crapped out. The girl that gave it to me seemed so nice and said that she had been tested.

So now, I'm thinking that life alone is fine until I get my head around it all rather than setlle for cr@p.

Try it. If you ain't strong on your own, in your own mind, no one else can make you. Not without you giving them way too much in return.