Question:
hey, need some help. first, i'll expliain my situation. I just found out that my long time girlfriend has herpes, though through 4 years we've been dating neither of us have shown any signs or had any noticible outbreaks. She just found out, told me, and now im kind of in a kam, because we are not madly in love, and are actually kind of in a break, and this just complicates things. Firstly, I am afraid to come off looking as an ass if i leave her now, and im afraid she'll be heartbroken and think it's because of the herpes, which is surely a contributing factor. I am going to get myself tested before I make any decisions obviously, though before i know, im trying to decide how i really feel about her.

Anyways, my real question is this: Has anyone on here ever experienced herpes as a blessing? this seems odd, but look at my situation right now, if i find out that i do have herpes, maybe i'll stay with my girl and things could go on to be wonderful. maybe u were worried about never being able to have sex again, until u found a really gorgeous guy that also had herpes. had u found that person and only they had herpes, u would have been denied ur pleasure, but because u already had them u were able to go on enjoying urself.


my other question is this: what risks are there is both partners already have herpes? espescially if they both seem to be asymptomatic? even with oral sex, neither of us have had cold sores or oral herpes. Is there any reason that we should be more cautious now that we know we both have it? (obviously still take care with pregnancy's and other stds).

and if i find myself with a new partners who also has herpes, (assuming i do have it), is it possibly for me to "catch it again" and become symptomatic, or will my current herpes anti-bodies fight off any type of herpes (complications with the type 1 type 2?) ...lots of questions, but advice and comments are greatly appreciated.

Answer:
wow, this kinda sucks. I felt like i was the only one in the world who faced this dilema until i found this board, and now i know im the only one.

Answer:
Hello,

So sorry you have not had any responses yet but there are times that this board is very active and times when it is slow.
I have only had H for a little over a month but I can tell you this. I do kinda accept this virus as a silent helper or as a blessing as you said. I was a pretty wild person in the past couple years, hence me getting H. Since I have found out about this I have not had sex and I have settled my life down tremendously. I learned that I cannot drink beer while taking the acylovir so I have now quite drinking and I eat healthy and take mega vitamins. So how can all that be a bad thing? I am very much more aware of my own body and how things work and how to keep myself healthy and hopefully someday outbreak free. So i hope that answers your first question.
As for your second question I am not sure seeing as I have never dated anyone with H. Well I guess I have or I wouldn't have it but I have no clue as to who that was, and who knows maybe they didn't know either.
And do what makes you happy with your relationship, if you will be happier without her then that is what you must do the H is only one factor in the relationship. I would hope she wouldn't try to blame that on things going bad. But like you said maybe this will keep you two together and make you stronger. But don't use the H as a reason to stay together either if you are not happy.
I hope all that made sence. I hope things go in the right direction for you and your girlfriend.

Take Care and Good Luck

Answer:
Theres nothing thats a blessing about herpes at all. I think what the blessing may be in some instances would be the learning experience you get from it that normally you wouldnt have been subjected to. However, theres many valuable learning experiences one can have minus the disease factor.

Answer:
Hi,

I have to say that herpes is not a blessing at all. I don't care who you talk to, it just isn't.

I've had it 2 years now and it's not getting any easier. I don't know how your girlfriend got it, but have you thought that you may have been an asymptomatic carrier and gave it to her? Sorry to bring that up, but it's a thought.

If that's not the case and you are not in love with her I can understand why you would break up with her. If you do, just make sure she doesn't think it's the H - it will break her heart. It's hard enough being diagnosed with it, let alone losing the person who've been with for 4 years over it.

I agree with the guy who said H teaches you life lessons but you can learn them without getting it! What did I learn? Not to have sex before marriage, not to ever have a one night stand, that so called safe sex is not safe at all and that you can't trust anyone. Nothing great learned there and now with H I can't put most of what I've learnt into practice.

Since I got it I have broken up with someone I really liked so that they didn't get it and been celibate for the rest of the time. If there is one blessing I guess it's if anyone accepts me with this and I love them as well I'll know they are the one.

As for giving it back to each other if you both have it and it's the same type, this seems to be okay. I've read that you don't get the virus any worse genitally, but of course if you have oral sex you can get cold sores.

Hope this helps you to make a decision.

Laney :o

Answer:
I guess everyone looks at things differently, yes H sucks and yes it is more of a burden then a blessing. And I am sure that the virus is more extreme for some then others. But I can't help but think what may have happened to me if I wouldn't have gotten this nasty bug. I could have gotten something much worse, not that I was running around like a hooker but I was not always the safest when having sex. I was never worried about STD's to the extent that people should be. Probably because there is not enough education about them. H has opened my eyes in good and bad ways. Yes I am so extremely healthier now and I have educated myself about a lot of STD's which are both good things. But it sucks that it took H to do that.

So I guess it is all about "your" situation and how H effects or will effect your life. Or better yet how you let it effect your life. I understand that for some people it is so bad that it basically overtakes your life and I hope I never have to go through that. I try my hardest to pick out positive things about this oh so negative virus, it is the only thing that gets me through. And like Laney said, if nothing else positive comes out of this then finding someone to spend life with, then so be it.

So it may be a blessing to one and a curse to another. It is all in how you look and deal with things. Everyone deals with things differently and whatever makes them feel better is great.

So whether it be a blessing or curse to all reading this remember H is not the end of the world nor does it have to be the end of a realationship.

I wish everyone the best of health, and if you can possibly manage.....think positive, negativity only makes your health worse and your mind crazy.

Jessalyn

Answer:
Anyways, my real question is this: Has anyone on here ever experienced herpes as a blessing? I stopped reading at that point.

Heck, at least I gave you a reply.

p.s. Said like a man who has yet to test positive. Bravo.

I think I'll go to the local oncology ward and ask a silly question myself tomorrow.

p.p.s. From my sarcasm, you'll see that the answer IMO is no. :)

Answer:
My herpes was a mixed blessing for me, I got it from my wife. She doesnt get any symptoms except for slight itching, no blisters or redness so she never knew she had it. I think of it as a blessing, because it helps me stay faithful to her (makes me afraid to cheat and infect someone, although if the other someone HAS it, hmm).

Answer:
well see that's part of the other side of it. What if u met some really hot member of the opposite sex, and only one of u had herpes, well, u wouldn't do anything, but maybe ,because u both have it, now ur not afraid of it and u can still fuck each others brains out.