Question:
:cry: Hello i'm new to this message board. I was just feeling so sad this morning that i needed someone to talk to. Last night my boyfriend of 6 months told me that he scared to deal with this he's scared that he might contract it and he says that being a father to a 18 month old that he can't chance it. This is the second rejection for me. Last year on july3 i told my then boyfriend about it. I must say he was pretty understanding considering that i had sex with him unprotected before i told him. I know that was the wrong thing to do, but i was just so scared to tell him, but i just couldn't stand myself anylonger so i told him. a month later he called me and i think he maybe tried to make it work he had sex with twice more, but he just starting being distance and i know he really liked me, but i just don't think he wanted to deal with someone like me. He liked having oral sex and i think the fact of what i had just scared him to much. So i promised myself that i wouldn't ever have sex with someone without telling them first that i have herpes. So when i met this last guy 6 months ago i knew i had to tell him It took me forever, but i told him over a week and half ago and last night he sad he just couldn't risk catching it. So I just don't know what to do anymore i mean i was with him for 6 months and we both have feelings for each other and he doesn't want to be with me. So after two rejections i just feel so low like i don't think anyone is ever gonna want to be with me. I really wanted this relationship to workout. I just feel so lost and on top of that i'm dealing with my dad having bone and lung cancer and i'm just so afraid of losing him spending my life all along, because after two rejections how do i pick myself up again and eventually tell someone else i just don't know if i can do it. I just really need some support from someone who knows how i feel.

Answer:
Don't focus on your condition. Focus on yourself you need to realize all of your great qualities. Look at it from this perspective, maybe these guys were not worthy of being with you. They sound ignorant about the disease. You have a lot going on in your life with your dad and that seems to be weighing on you. When I was diagnosed I thought my husband would not want to touch me. I was wrong. He wants to have sex and I am holding back - still getting adjusted. Relationships are tough and it is simply a matter of finding the right person - which is not easy - but it will happen. Remember to be honest about it - don't hide it - that may have been a factor in him ending it as well. Relationships are more then just sex. One thing I have realized - women are hard on themselves. Don't define yourself by a disease (HSV is very common in society) Define yourself by all of your wonderful attributes.

It isn't only dating that's an issue. When I had told my mom, she responded like I was dirty or did something horrible to get this. I think that tore me down - but she is good at that. It's funny how certain people can rip your heart out and make you feel worthless. Never let anyone do this to you.

I woke up yesterday, having a feel sorry for me day. No more! I want to be in control and today is much better.