Question:
I got herpes three years back when I was about to break up with my boyfriend of three years. We'd been off condoms and on the pill for awhile and I think I'd just been lucky until then. If he knew he hasn't told me to this day. I don't care about him, I don't care about that. It's been three years and my outbreaks are few and far between. They're just bad enough for me to know they're there, and usually I'm thankful that I know about them, and can avoid spreading the disease.

Today I'm not. Today I wish I had a minor case, one that never made me run to the doctor, one that didn't burdon me with the responsibilty and the conversations and the stigma. I wouldn't ever feel guilt for not having told someone, I wouldn't ever have to wonder when's the right time to tell someone, I wouldn't ever have someone look at me like I'm disgusting, I wouldn't have guys who say "um, that's cool, thanks for telling me, I still think you're hot and smart and the funniest person I know, but I've gotta look out for myself, you know, later," and leave. Probably leave with someone who has it and doesn't know, or has it and won't tell them.

I know that in the movies having herpes would magically transform me into the kind of girl who doesn't take her pants off until she knows it's true love, but you know, it didn't. I have safer sex than I used to have, I tell some people, I protect others from myself. I guess that's wretched. But today I wish I was worse than I was, because getting kicked while you're down sucks.

I used to have a great boyfriend. We'll call him boyfriend A. We got along, then we didn't. Then we broke up. Another boyfriend, another day, got herpes, boyfriend B. In October I wound up going through A's town, thought it was a one-off, wasn't having an outbreak, slept with him, didn't tell him. Guess it wasn't a one off, because he just bought a plane ticket to come 'round the world and see me. Cool! But the guilt set in and I figured I should come clean before we get shit started again. Emailed him. Waiting waiting waiting for a response. Nothing. My ghetto cell doesn't do international calls, anyway I put the deal on the table and now I guess it's his turn to process things and get back to me. I told another guy and he said "hey we're cool but let's not ever see one another again." So I wish I was the kind of girl who didn't have the balls to tell anyone. I'd have everyone back in my bed where they belong.

Answer:
When I found out I had herpes a couple of months ago, I immediately told my bf. He accused me of ruining his life, and said that everytime he talked to me he just wanted to take a shower to "feel clean again". He made me feel like garbage, but I don't regret telling him. I applaud your honesty with the guy, as tough as it may be to accept the consequences.