Question:
My first outbreak was monday, I went to the doctor, he says it looks like herpes- it sure as hell feels like herpes. I left their hysterical, I just turned 18 and I have been dealing with pre-cancerous cells on my cervix for almost 2 years. I thought that I had learned my lesson and a year ago when I got out of a long term relationship I stopped having sex till I found someone I could trust. So I was very shocked that this has happened, although, my ex who I dated for two years cheated on me several times.. I feel like I cant trust anyone and I feel very damaged.

I got over the intial reaction very fast, although, I havnt left my house much cuz I feel very sick and sore. I have had alot of terrible expierences occur in my life so I know something like this is not the end of the world or my life, my father has herpes and I felt lucky I had someone close to talk to. Only a day later I am managing incredibly well, I have a few concerns but we all just have to learn to live with what comes our way and i know that.

My main worry is not living with this, its finding someone who understands and having a satisfying sex life. I feel like I just lost all spontinaety, and I enjoy things like oral sex- are these activites ever going to be safe with out dental dams and what not, I will of course do what I have to to keep future partners protected but I dont want to use condoms and dental dams the rest of my life... Is that selfish and immature? I never really liked the feeling of condoms.

I also feel like this is my fault and not the person who gave it to me, for trusting someone who I always had a feeling was lieing to me...like I deserve this, but I know no one does.

Answer:
I hope you're doing better today. I'm sure you're father has talked to you but if you read other posts on here (everyone is different of course) you read that a lot people are taking vitamins and some herpes medicines and learning what causes future outbreaks. So what a lot of people are saying is the future outbreaks aren't as bad and when managed right don't happen as often.
I am very fortunate not to have any severe outbreaks. I have genital hpv and oral hsv2. Extremely mild case but I know what you're thinking about sex. Along with the very common feelings of being ashamed and that no one will want to be with me, I have only had oral sex so I sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get to have intercourse or not. I completely understand how you feel. I'm hoping to find someone who won't think sex is a big deal, but for someone who doesn't want to get what I have I'm sure it will be hard for them to want to have sex but not be able to if they're scared of contracting anything.
From what I've read, unless your significant other is willing to risk being exposed you should always use protection. And even then it doesn't cover everything. Although if your boyfriend is clean and you want to give him oral and your mouth is not infected, just your genital area, then it might be okay to do it without a condom.

Anyway, it's a common feeling and I wish you the best.

Answer:
Thanks for your reply.. I am feeling better today for the first time all week the last couple days I have been very sick I felt like my body got hit by a truck (not to mention I had a cold before this all started).

Well I dont have anything on my mouth that I know of but I like recieving oral sex too!! LOL. I actually even laughed today (in that pathetic kinda way) about the whole thing, because its so ironic--when I found out my ex cheated on me I went to him and told him that the only thing I was mad about was that he couldnt be honest with me and that he put my health at risk. I was so mad that someone that claimed to love someone could actually put there partner at a risk like that.. but my uncle died of AIDS so I might have had a more realistic idea of how common these things are then he did.

Since I am not currently in a relationship I am glad I only have to worry about getting better instead of worrying if I passed it to them.. I have read alot of stories where that was a common concern.

Answer:
Dear MissK,

Anytime I hear of someone becoming infected, my heart sinks. I have been living with HSV-1 (cold sores)for over 15 years now and in a long term relationship for about 14 years (8 of them being married). My husband has never been symptomatic with this and we do everything we can to prevent me from spreading this to him. But at the same time I am not treated like a "biohazard" LOL.

Valtrex/Acyclovir (pills) helps some for me - perhaps it will help you too. The topical creams didn't help me much for the oral cold sores - I was better off leaving them dry out on their own. However, it may help with the GH - fortunately I have not experienced this yet. Some people take the pills on a regular basis (daily) to lessen/preven OB's.