Question:
My Girlfriend all of a sudden came up to me and told me she thought she may have had herpes. She said she noticed some sort of bump around her vagina. At first I was shocked, because the only person I ever had any kind of sexual intimacy with was her, which includes oral. One time many many many months back I did have a cold sore in my mouth when I gave oral to her, and not thinking anything of it I told her. She freaked a little, but I didn't understand why.

Now that she thinks she may have it, there is a lot of tension between us. For one thing, I had no idea that cold sores were a form of herpes. So, that basically means that everyone that gets cold sores is infected? I know that I got them long before I was sexually active, so how was I infected?

Also, how can it be so dangerous if it came from the mouth? What I mean is, if I did indeed gave her genital herpes, how does it go from being a harmless fact of life for many people (including myself) to being this uncurable genital disease? This part confuses me the most.

From reading this website, I've basically come to the conclusion that while everyone gets cold sores in their mouths, when they know that one is there they should stop any kind of sexual activity until it is healed over, to avoid infection of the other party. Is this the basic key to it all?

Also, is there anythin else I should know? Thanks.

Answer:
I had no idea that cold sores were a form of herpes. Most people don't. That's the problem.

So, that basically means that everyone that gets cold sores is infected? Yes. Normally HSV1 but it can be either.

I know that I got them long before I was sexually active, so how was I infected? Your grandmother could have kissed you with a coldsore when you were young - thats how most kids get it - or another kid - harmless "hello" kisses, shared glasses, etc.

Also, how can it be so dangerous if it came from the mouth? It's not "dangerous" - it's a cold sore. It's ugly, uncomfortable, embarassing, contageous, but it certainly won't kill you.

What I mean is, if I did indeed gave her genital herpes, how does it go from being a harmless fact of life for many people (including myself) to being this uncurable genital disease? This part confuses me the most. It's the same virus - different location thats all. Incurable oral, genital - doesn't matter - HSV1 "likes" oral locations, HSV2 "likes" genital locations. Thats the only difference. The "social" difference: anything related to our genitalia is considered tabu. Coldsore on the mouth - use some ambesol - no prob - be on tv - go to work, whatever. Have a cold sore on your genitals - well, lock yourself up with the lepers... stigma. Old women thinking you're "dirty" time to get over it ladies! There is no difference in my book.

From reading this website, I've basically come to the conclusion that while everyone gets cold sores in their mouths, when they know that one is there they should stop any kind of sexual activity until it is healed over, to avoid infection of the other party. Is this the basic key to it all? Yes. Be concious of your body, respect and protect your partner by paying attention to the signs and avoiding those "areas". It doesn't mean you can't use your imagination and still be intimate with your partner.

Also, is there anythin else I should know? Thanks. I'm sure.... Keep reading - learning - this is not a deathsentence or a "disease" it is a skin virus that can be mentally destructive. Don't let it kill you that way - cold sores is all it is. Have your girlfriend check in with us if she needs to.

Good Luck.

Answer:
Don't confuse cold sores and canker sores.

Cold sores are ON the mouth, usually lips and are HSV1 related.

Canker sores are IN the mouth and are not HSV1 related.

Two different kinds of sores

Answer:
Don't confuse cold sores and canker sores.

Cold sores are ON the mouth, usually lips and are HSV1 related.

Canker sores are IN the mouth and are not HSV1 related.

Two different kinds of sores I"m no expert - but I thought - and still do that herpes sores can also be in the mouth.

Answer:
Don't confuse cold sores and canker sores.

Cold sores are ON the mouth, usually lips and are HSV1 related.

Canker sores are IN the mouth and are not HSV1 related.

Two different kinds of sores Are you sure? Not to doubt you, but everything I have read has led me to believe that this WAS the case, and if it isn't then that changes everything about my current situation.