Question:
hey guys, i really need some help. is there any way you can tell a person that he/she is not going to be on the praise team anymore in a way where that person will not be offended? Their is this 1 girl in our band that the leader and I want to take out because she is pretty much useless ( she sings but we dont need her) and just taking up space. She also doesnt come out all the time so it brings us down when we want to learn a new song. can you guys please help me out. all your responses will be greatly appreciated
Answer:
First of all, the worship leader needs to sit this person down and discuss the problems at hand. This person is useless ? Why ? She doesn't show up for practice all the time......ok, what else ?
The important thing is to sit with this person and identify the LEGITIMATE problems at hand. I only stress the word "legitimate", because you were really vague in what the problem was. Once everyone is in agreement as to what the problems are, begin to discuss the solutions.
Once plan of actions are agreed upon between the people involved, it's time to discuss the consequences. Once all three steps are achieved, you should expect progress.
The whole point to this approach is to get everyone on the same page. This person may not know that they are creating problems, and to just come out and say "sorry, you can't worship with us anymore" may have devastating results.
Communication is the key, so good luck with this.
Chris
Answer:
You have to first have a set of expectations for everyone on the praise team.
Each person has to be clear in understanding those expectations so that when they're not meeting them and are asked to either adjust to fit them or to step down, there's no surprise.
As far as that person not being offended, you have little control over that. All you can do is talk with the person and be as tactfully honest-yet-loving as possible.
Maybe there's another ministry that this person would be a better fit for?
Answer:
Great advice so far, I'd only add to bathe the situation in prayer with yourself, your worship leader and your pastor.
Answer:
I would first ask yourself what the role is of your worship team. Are you there just to lead the congregation in worship? That is obviously one of the most important roles of a worship team, but the worship team that I lead has three main goals:

1. Be worshippers - We need to live a life of worship to our Lord and Savior, not just while we're singing!
2. Lead others in worship - whether we like it or not, some people look at/to us when they are worshipping to 'see how it is done'
3. Grow the team - Give opportunities for learning and advancement within the team, and allow those in the congregation with giftings and a calling to serve in the worship team the opportunity to do so

I think the 3rd bullet is the most overlooked 'role' that we have as worship leaders. As a 'leader' of a team, we have a responsibility to grow our people and provide others with the ability to serve. My team has about 15 people that serve as 'backup vocalists'. They are on a rotating schedule and each gets to sing at least once a month (we lead on Wednesdays and Sundays). When I started, there were maybe 4-6 vocalists and there were some growing pains when they realized that they wouldn't be able to sing each week, but things are fine now and we continue to hold auditions and grow.
To your question, I would probably have an honest conversation with this person and let her know (with grace) what the rules are concerning practice times and that they are going to be enforced. I would try to find out if there are family/personal issues that are interrupting her ability to get to practice. Personality 'issues' are the hardest thing we have to deal with as leaders, try to use this problem as a learning experience for yourself and think of how you'd want it handled if you were a team member.
Answer:
Originally Posted by gtrdave You have to first have a set of expectations for everyone on the praise team.
Step 1: There must be biblical based expectations in writing that everyone has had the opportunity to understand and accept or reject
Step 2: If someone is falling short of the written commitment and expectations they have willing agreed to, then you must talk to them directly, honestly, and kindly about how the problem is bringing down the team.
Step 3: Is there any extenuating circumstances going on in their life that need special care? If not, Let them know they are loved and wanted and you would personally like to help raise them to a higher level, but they must be willing to do some hard work too. (This might mean they need to commit to being regular, step back to only practicing with the team for a while, private lessons, or what ever it will take to bring them up from their short coming.)
Step 4: If there is no desire or effort to change then it is time to politely explain to them in person that they are not meeting the commitment level required to be a successful member of the band. Don't slam the door on them, if possible, let them know that if things change in their life and they feel they would like to try to meet the standards that you would love the opportunity to have them talk to you again.
Step 5: Don’t take their offence personally. Sometimes the leader has the spiritual responsibility to make the hard decisions, unpopular as they may be.
Here below is my set of expectations I have team members agree to. It may be longer than what you need, but feel free to use any ideas that may help you create your set of standards.
Answer:
thank you for all your comments. we decided to sit down and talk with her this sunday. i hope it goes ok because i dont want to make her feel bad. i keep getting this thought that if she gets kicked out then she will leave our church which i dont want to see happening. i get this feeling because she goes to two churches right now and the times she doesnt show up to our church is when she is going to the other church. I am going to use all of your advises ( im probably gonna write it in a small peice of paper and look at it under the table while we are talking with her lol).
Answer:
Hey all, I am the leader of a worship group at my church too. I basically have had your same problem...people (mainly backup vocalists) not showing up to rehearsal, can't sing worth a lick, etc.... However, I always have to be grounded in the reason I (and we) are worship leaders to begin with. I don't think there is anywhere in the bible that says "Sing praises to God (but only if you can sing really, really good)!!!". Instead it simply says "Sing praises", so matter how bad you sing, it is not right at all to drop someone out of a volunteer worship group. Instead, work with that person and give them extra homework or easier songs to sing, or even tell them to sit out a couple songs so that they can still remain in the group.
In regards to the "not showing up to rehersal people", sit down with your group (as others have said in reply) and spell out some ground rules. One rule for our group is that if you don't make the rehersal before worship (for whatever reason), you can't sing/play in that service. The whole group knows and has come up with this rule so I'm never in arguments with anyone. But come up with some rules for your team so everyone has the same expectations for the group.
Lastly, I personally feel that to be in my group is a call from God. You must be in the group for the right reasons. I (and this is no knock on teenagers here) have had many a teenager who has come in to my group just because he/she likes music, not because they want to praise God. Because of this, most I find not coming back . (Although I do have a few who stay for the right reasons.) My group members hound me to call them and ask why they haven't come, but to me, it's not me who should be calling them, it's God who should be calling them to be in the group. So if you have a conversation with your group members about the reasons they are in the group, this might assist you more in where they are in the their faith life. Maybe this person is struglling with faith right now and needs our prayers.
Anyways, sorry for such a long post, but I hope this helps...
Take Care,
Jay
Answer:
Originally Posted by jmpeter316 Hey all, I am the leader of a worship group at my church too. I basically have had your same problem...people (mainly backup vocalists) not showing up to rehearsal, can't sing worth a lick, etc.... However, I always have to be grounded in the reason I (and we) are worship leaders to begin with. I don't think there is anywhere in the bible that says "Sing praises to God (but only if you can sing really, really good)!!!". Instead it simply says "Sing praises", so matter how bad you sing, it is not right at all to drop someone out of a volunteer worship group. Instead, work with that person and give them extra homework or easier songs to sing, or even tell them to sit out a couple songs so that they can still remain in the group.
Hmmm...time for a new thread inspired by the contents of this paragraph...
Answer:
Have you had similar issues???
Just curious..
Jay
Answer:
i hope it goes ok because i dont want to make her feel bad. i keep getting this thought that if she gets kicked out then she will leave our church which i dont want to see happening.
Here's a thought for you. We've had people leaving, and we've even had to ask people to leave our church. It brings a lot of soul searching! The thing is though, if these people leave as a result of our honest actions, honest meaning that we are acting in accordance with what God as told us to do, then their leaving is the will of God. Right? Now, if their leaving is in the will of God, what business do we have greiving that will? He is in command and who does or does not attend what church is His business. It's not our job to try to keep people with us just for the sake of keeping them! That's protectionism and building a church that is out of God's will.
Our job is to do what God lays out there for us. If he tells us to keep these people with us then we do what we need to, without falling into sin, to keep them. If, however he does not tell us to do that, well. It's done. We're still in the will of God.
Bob
Spearfish, SD
Answer:
Originally Posted by jmpeter316 I don't think there is anywhere in the bible that says "Sing praises to God (but only if you can sing really, really good)!!!".
Psalm 33:3
"Sing to him a new song; play skillfully, and shout for joy."
Use of the word "Skillfully" in the Hebrew can mean to do well, do thoroughly, to make a thing good or right or beautiful or to do well, do right or to be pleasing.
Answer:
Originally Posted by gtrdave Psalm 33:3
"Sing to him a new song; play skillfully, and shout for joy."
Use of the word "Skillfully" in the Hebrew can mean to do well, do thoroughly, to make a thing good or right or beautiful or to do well, do right or to be pleasing.

Ok...I'll shut up...but you know where I was going with my quote...
Did you actually search for that, or did you know that was in the Bible???
Just checking...
Jay
Answer:
Originally Posted by jmpeter316
Ok...I'll shut up...but you know where I was going with my quote...
Did you actually search for that, or did you know that was in the Bible???
Just checking...
Jay I did.
Answer:
Originally Posted by jmpeter316
Ok...I'll shut up...but you know where I was going with my quote...
Did you actually search for that, or did you know that was in the Bible???
Just checking...
Jay
I knew it was there.
I also know to go to www.searchgodsword.com as it's a great online interlinear resource.