Question:
I havent quite decided on a title for this one. Its about being sick.

(verse)
Woke up this morning
And I feel like s***
But I gotta go to work
Cuz I can't stay home
Somebody's gotta pay the rent
Wipe the sleep
from bloodshot eyes
last night, went to bed
I was feelin pretty good
But this morning took me by surprise

(bridge)
My nose is running, Head is achin'
Fever's got my body shakin
But I cant seem to shake this feeling
I'm never getting better
Never getting better
Never getting better....

(Chorus)
All I need, is non-prescription medication
A temporary fix, to make me feel alright
All I need, is half empty bottles that sit on dusty shelves
To get me through till night, I can't do this by myself

(alt bridge)
The pills, they help me
feel a little better (feel a little better)
They help me breathe (help me breathe)
When I'm under the weather
The pills, they help me
feel a little better (feel a little better)
But I can't shake this feeling
I'm never getting better
Never getting better
Never getting better

(chorus)
Answer:
Feel free to RC if you have the time.
Answer:
It got progressively better as it went along. I thought the first part of the first verse was rather weak.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Nate It got progressively better as it went along. I thought the first part of the first verse was rather weak.
Cool. Thanks for commenting on it. Yeah, I can see where you're coming from on the first verse. I Imagine you're talking specifically about the first 2 lines? I think I should probably get a rough recording of it to show how it actually fits...as its hard to see just from the lyrics. Any suggestions?
Answer:
Sup man,
Originally Posted by Tahoe Jeff Woke up this morning
And I feel like s***
But I gotta go to work
Cuz I can't stay home
Somebody's gotta pay the rent
Wipe the sleep
from bloodshot eyes
last night, went to bed
I was feelin pretty good
But this morning took me by surprise I agree with Nate about this verse being pretty weak. Specifically the first four lines really drag it down.
My nose is running, Head is achin'
Fever's got my body shakin
But I cant seem to shake this feeling
I'm never getting better
Never getting better
Never getting better....
Pretty simple, but it moves the song along nicely.
All I need, is non-prescription medication
A temporary fix, to make me feel alright
All I need, is half empty bottles that sit on dusty shelves
To get me through till night, I can't do this by myself
"I can't do this by myself" sounds kind of awkward thrown in there at the end, but the rest of the chorus is pretty good.
The pills, they help me
feel a little better (feel a little better)
They help me breathe (help me breathe)
When I'm under the weather
The pills, they help me
feel a little better (feel a little better)
But I can't shake this feeling
I'm never getting better
Never getting better
Never getting better
Okay, I like this part a lot. Depending on what kind of music you wrote for it, this could turn out really catchy.
You could still polish it up a bit, but right now you've already got a pretty solid song here. Keep up the writing man.
Answer:
that was good, i liked it alot. did you say youve written music for it, or no?
Answer:
Originally Posted by comatose_27 that was good, i liked it alot. did you say youve written music for it, or no?
Thanks! yeah, I have music for it now. We've been practicing it quite a bit at band practice. It seems to be coming together nicely.