Question:
this was the first song I ever wrote. But I liked the concept so I rewrote the verses and made the guitar part a lot more intricuit. You can listen to the song here or on my myspace www.myspace.com/mikelynammusic with all my other songs. Any critiqueing is appreciated! thanks
As hard as war this has become
as hard as stone my heart grew cold
and I never would have felt like this today
if you didnt take all I had away
I thought it was mine thought I had control
but when did I lose sight?
How could I take my eyes off you?
What in this world could take the sight of you?
I know I can't survive all alone
Please forgive me for making my life, my own
What's the price to sell my pride?
Is it hard to pay? Will it take some time?
and I never would have felt like this today
if you didnt take all I had away
I thought it was mine thought I had control
but when did I lose sight?
Chorus
nothing I have or nothing I gain
could follow me up to you
I'm hopeless and helpless when relying on myself
so I'm sorry for taking what's yours
Chorus
Answer:
Hey, i really like that song! I am not that big of a whiz to give you corrections or ideas. I just listened to it 5-6 times and i like it even better each time listening to it.
Have you tried playing it with more drive to it. don't get me wrong i really like it the way you play it, but while listening to it i felt like to pick up my e-guitar and start jamming away to a more rockish rhythm.
Well done,
In His Grip
Dennis
Answer:
You have a very nice voice. Keep at it!