Question:
This is the first song I've ever written on my keyboard, and I am quite excited about it Tell me what you think
(verse 1)
Torn apart but I refuse to shake
Maybe it's neccesary for me to break one more time
Blessed be the name that watches me
Shifting the winds and changing the times
(chorus)
They won't shatter me, you cover me
And cry when I am wronged
They won't destroy me, you're holding me
When I can't you will stand strong
(verse)
I'll believe you when you say you're here
And I'll trust you when you tell me I'll be fine
I will dance with your symphony, you're melody
You still sing to me, "you are mine"
Answer:
Originally Posted by Marabert (verse 1)
Torn apart but I refuse to shake
Maybe it's neccesary for me to break one more time
Blessed be the name that watches me
Shifting the winds and changing the times
(chorus)
They won't shatter me, you cover me
And cry when I am wronged
They won't destroy me, you're holding me
When I can't you will stand strong This is one of those songs that would be cliche if it wasn't written by a great writer. You do a good job with it, but it needs a little something to spice it up.
(verse)
I'll believe you when you say you're here
And I'll trust you when you tell me I'll be fine
I will dance with your symphony, you're melody
You still sing to me, "you are mine" I love this.
Overall, it could use a little spicing up, but it's a good start. Good luck!