Question:
This is a song I'm working on for my new band. I'm really bad at writing lyrics, but so far, all of us are (unless whatever bassist I find is any good at it). I would appreciate some feedback. I have no recording right now, but I can maybe make an acoustic one later today. Anyway, here it is, in all its glory. Any suggestions would be really appreciated.
The song itself is coming from the saying, "There's no sense crying over spilled milk." Its basically a story of someone who can't get the insignificant problems that occur throughout a typical day out of his head, and he keeps stressing over them.
Crying Over Spilled Milk
Words: Eric Seibt
Music: Eric Seibt/Faraway Places
(C) 2006
I try to fall asleep but
I can't get these thoughts out of my head
That make me feel so helpless but are so small and insignificant
They linger on into the night
There's no escaping
And I wonder why these small things bother me so
*The glass tips over
*The contents spill onto the table
*The mess seems daunting but
*You have to carry on and deal with life
*There's no sense crying, no sense crying
Don't sweat the small stuff
But that small stuff tends to get me down
Makes me wonder why I cannot help but cry
And whine and moan and complain
Over these things I cannot change
Is there not any peace for me?
*The glass tips over
*The contents spill onto the table
*The mess seems daunting but
*You have to carry on and deal with life
*There's no sense crying, no sense crying
*The glass tips over
*The contents spill onto the table
*The mess seems daunting but
*You have to carry on and deal with life
*The glass tips over
*The contents spill onto the table
*The mess seems daunting but
*You have to carry on and deal with life
*Well there's no sense crying
Answer:
I really like the chorus.
But the verses don't seem to flow well.
And lyrics don't have to be perfectly crafted. Look at Sunny Day Real Estate; Their lyrics don't even make sense, but the music and dynamics make up for that.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Mattlock I really like the chorus.
But the verses don't seem to flow well.
Ditto on both counts.
That chorus is great.
It just has something.
Answer:
Even I have to agree there... and its my own song. The verses were written whilst distracted by hoardes of people IMming me (because I do all my writing in Windows Notepad), and I wasn't coming up with anything very good anyway.
Its going to be tough coming up with something better, and I hate to have to revisit this song later, because we've already got some music for it, and intend on throwing it on the demo once we've got a full band together. Hmm...