Question:
i'll be back home
waiting for you
just as you left me
so think of me
your not alone
cause' ill be dreaming of you dear
waiting for you, my dear

until we meet again
let these chords be with you now
let my words hold your hand
let my voice listen to yours

when you come back home
theres a slurpee with your name
and a boy with your heart
he'll be waiting for you
with his arms open wide

until we meet again
let these chords hold you tight
let my words gaze your eyes
let my voice lay with you
deep, into, the night
Answer:
Originally Posted by rockon4l1fe i'll be back home
waiting for you
just as you left me
so think of me
your not alone
cause' ill be dreaming of you dear
waiting for you, my dear
A little cliche perhaps, the whole "waiting for you" thing, but it gets your point across.

until we meet again
let these chords be with you now
let my words hold your hand
let my voice listen to yours
I really like the "let these chords be with you" and "let my words hold your hand", though I don't understand the last line. What were you trying to say exactly?

when you come back home
theres a slurpee with your name
and a boy with your heart
he'll be waiting for you
with his arms open wide
I like the "slurpee with your name" bit, though I wish the end of the verse could have been just a bit stronger. The whole "waiting for you . . . arms open wide" tends to be overused I think.

until we meet again
let these chords hold you tight
let my words gaze your eyes
let my voice lay with you
deep, into, the night
Again, I like the idea here, though this time I don't understand the third line. Graze? Glaze? Or maybe a little rewrite?
Overall there are some weak bits, but I think this song has potential and some nice original ideas in it. Keep at it!
Answer:
hey i really appreciate your input. the "gaze" thing, it was originaly "gaze into" but it just didn't quite flow, so i just took out "into"
Answer:
also, the voice thing, i wrote the song for my girlfriend when she went to italy for a while in the summer, so that part of the verse was things of me being with her through the song.
Answer:
I agree with FlyGuy. A voice listening just doesn't make any sense as a personification. "Words gaze your eyes" really doesn't work. Very awkward.
That said, you've got some great lines here. If you could drop the clichés and fill those lines with more interesting, personal lines (the slurpee line is a decent example) you could have a winner here.