Question:
Well here is the lyrics to a song I wrote this week give me some info!
Cross of Dreams
by: Shannon Peters
Spoken:
Jesus once said that we must take up our cross and follow him.What other reason is there to take up our cross than to use it.
Verse 1
As I walk down this road
I take a look around me
I view the ones beside me
I see the crosses they bare
Some are small and frail
Some large as a sail
the situations are displayed
life death and living
the blessings and the sinning
Yet the only cross I can truely understand
Is the one that I carry with my two hands
Chorus
This Cross of dreams it seems
is heavy as a ton of feathers
This cross of deams it seems
This cross of dreams it seems
to hold its own share of splinters
this cross of dreams
Verse 2
As you may have guessed by now
my cross is different than yours
No two are alike
Mine is the substance of Faith and dreams
What yours is
only you can know
But this I have learned from my own travels
IT isnt the substance of the cross
only how its carried
Now I am not trying to compare mine to yours
For we all have our crosses made for us all
Answer:
To me it seems very bland. It's like eating plain toast, it could be great, but without any jelly it's not much.
Writing needs metaphors and imagery. Basically, with your writing, you're just saying that we all have crosses and they're different. But what makes them different?
Basically, to me it just seems very stolid and bare. There's almost no emotion.
But keep up the writing, though! Just remember three things good writing needs: Imagery, metaphors, and emotion!
Answer:
Thank you For your insight I do agree this song is on the bland side. This is one of my less "Poetic" Songs. I am going to post another shortly!