Question:
Bah... Our church has two worship teams: The youth group one and the main church worship team. I'm on the main worship team as "almost ready to be plugged in during services," and on the other I'm pretty much apprentice level, though now I'm plugged in during practices... But... I feel so un-valued at ALL. Whenever I suggest something, it gets shoved aside like a piece of brush. However, when almost any other member says something, people care what they say. My volume is insanely low normally, though today it was cool, I suppose, seeing as I think I'm gonna be a backup guitarist or something... I dunno. I'm just going insane here. When I was asking the leader for a tryout, she kept forgetting I think, and this continued for a while... Then right before my tryout around six months ago or so, I think, she told me that she and the youth pastor (her husband) decided to make it so that no one could join and not just be apprentice unless they were a sophomore... I was a freshman, still am, as a matter of fact. So that bugged the heck out of me. I prayed about it and have been having that worked on by God this whole time and such, though I think it's still a festering wound, and I don't know what to do about it. I don't know... At what point should I go insane? Even the other apprentice seems to get more respect than I get... What I do seems un-valued and un-wanted. I'm about to blow a fuse here... I've prayed about it a lot, and God's helped me to get over it before, but new annoyances keep piling on! I don't know how to stop! I don't want to talk to my youth worship leader about it because I would rather submit to authority and let her decide when I'm ready, but how can I show her if I'm ready if nothing I do matters?!
Answer:
Don't shoot yourself yet!
Sometimes, it's more of a perception than a reality. To make sure everyone is on the same page, I think you should talk to the leader and tell her exactly how you feel. If there are a lot of people involved in the music ministry, the youngest and newest can get lost in the sea of people. I think the only way she will see your value is on a one to one basis.
I have another thought though. It sounds like you're kind of in between groups, so...maybe you could offer to lead the youth - take that responsibility on and take it off her hands. That way, she would delegate most of the leg work to you and just deal with you as their leader. Just a thought....
Answer:
Well, you're supposed to be an apprentice, right? So be the best apprentice you can be. Ask every week what you could do to improve for next week and then do it. That will earn you respect.
Answer:
Originally Posted by bobthecockroach Well, you're supposed to be an apprentice, right? So be the best apprentice you can be. Ask every week what you could do to improve for next week and then do it. That will earn you respect.
'Eh... Doesn't really work. I try to be helpful and such, but our practices are... Different, lol, to say the least. The only one who knows what we're doing for practice is the leader.
And I'm worried about talking to the leader about it because I don't want to sound like I'm trying to get myself ahead of where she wants me and such... I don't want to be where I'm not supposed to be... Are my concerns irrational? And it's not really an option to take over, lol, I'm still a freshman, though I'm about to be done with school, or, at least, will be in a few weeks. Bleh. I don't want to suck up, but I don't want to be ignored. I just want to be part of the team, but the team seems to be consisting of a clique of people that I'm not one of.
Answer:
An apprentice's main job is to learn... not contribute. I'm not saying that you shouldn't try to contribute, but I am saying that you should focus on learning. I am saying after practice each week, go up to the leader and ask them how you did and what you could do to do even better. Then do it. Practice during the week and come back better than you were last week. Do that every week, and you'll get respect.
Answer:
Also, would you be displacing someone? If it's an old-timer, it may take a while. It's like "invading someone's turf", even though, as Christians, we shouldn't look at it that way. Could you perhaps start working with the veterans and start learning how to do stuff and start showing your value to them? That way, they can become your advocate and voice and you don't have to worry about what your leader thinks about you stepping out of line.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Hopeful Also, would you be displacing someone? If it's an old-timer, it'll may take a while. It's like "invading someone's turf", even though, as Christians, we shouldn't look at it that way. Or perhaps as Christians we should be more concerned with the ministry than our personal advancement.
Answer:
Originally Posted by bobthecockroach Or perhaps as Christians we should be more concerned with the ministry than our personal advancement.
Yes, either way... But, if it is competitive, it could also have the benefit of causing those involved to become better players AND, better members of the body of Christ. I know, one day, my son may get to the point that I think he is better than me, but, that makes me want to learn new things all the time. I love it because he will be all the more better!
Answer:
When I was 13, there was a big conference that came to my town for the first time in 5 years. They were revving up to do the praise and worship sets for that conference, and I knew I wanted to be in on it. However, I was, of course, deemed "too young" to do it, and I was basically rejected from playing with the other guys that were up there (16 yr olds and up). I know that I was skilled enough to do it, but there was no allowance to let a kid that was just going into Jr.High up to play. I got pretty discouraged as a result of that, however, I know that it taught me patience. I wasn't going to get to do anything I wanted when I wanted to do it, and my age is a factor, whether I like it that way or not. So I had to let it pass.
Now, annually, my church combined with a couple others have a winter camp, and I wasn't allowed to be on the praise team when I was 13, however, the next year, due to my concerns that I raised, I was allowed on when I was 14, and the people on top changed the rules a bit. I was happy, to say the least.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Rainer. When I was 13, there was a big conference that came to my town for the first time in 5 years. They were revving up to do the praise and worship sets for that conference, and I knew I wanted to be in on it. However, I was, of course, deemed "too young" to do it, and I was basically rejected from playing with the other guys that were up there (16 yr olds and up). I know that I was skilled enough to do it, but there was no allowance to let a kid that was just going into Jr.High up to play. I got pretty discouraged as a result of that, however, I know that it taught me patience. I wasn't going to get to do anything I wanted when I wanted to do it, and my age is a factor, whether I like it that way or not. So I had to let it pass.
Now, annually, my church combined with a couple others have a winter camp, and I wasn't allowed to be on the praise team when I was 13, however, the next year, due to my concerns that I raised, I was allowed on when I was 14, and the people on top changed the rules a bit. I was happy, to say the least.
That I can imagine .
I wouldn't really be replacing anyone, as far as I can see... Everyone is under nineteen except for the leader; I guess we'd just have a schedule or something. The main church worship team, though, has a few old timers, but they're really good about it, and that worship team actually seems to like the thought of me being on it, which, to say the least, I'm happy about. But yeah, I'll do what you suggest Bob. I hate not contributing, but yeah... I'm moving out of ninth soon, though, and I'm worried about whether or not I'll be able to get on the official youth worship team, just because. I don't know if there'd even be a reason. You just can't be on as a freshman, and I'm worried that I'll be forgotten, basically. Another guy just joined, and will probably soon be on the youth worship team officially (He's seventeen I think)... Bleh. I guess worry starts to set in... I bet God's teaching me patience and that little lesson in life called, "It's not about you," lol.
Answer:
Originally Posted by DaGeek That I can imagine .
I wouldn't really be replacing anyone, as far as I can see... Everyone is under nineteen except for the leader; I guess we'd just have a schedule or something. The main church worship team, though, has a few old timers, but they're really good about it, and that worship team actually seems to like the thought of me being on it, which, to say the least, I'm happy about. But yeah, I'll do what you suggest Bob. I hate not contributing, but yeah... I'm moving out of ninth soon, though, and I'm worried about whether or not I'll be able to get on the official youth worship team, just because. I don't know if there'd even be a reason. You just can't be on as a freshman, and I'm worried that I'll be forgotten, basically. Another guy just joined, and will probably soon be on the youth worship team officially (He's seventeen I think)... Bleh. I guess worry starts to set in... I bet God's teaching me patience and that little lesson in life called, "It's not about you," lol.
Don't forget, you've got your whole life ahead of you to play guitar. Working with students a lot, I know that 6 months seems like a lifetime right now. Try to use this time to learn from those who are more experienced, and practice patience. You'll get your chance.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Dave H Don't forget, you've got your whole life ahead of you to play guitar. Working with students a lot, I know that 6 months seems like a lifetime right now. Try to use this time to learn from those who are more experienced, and practice patience. You'll get your chance.
Amen... Sometimes I forget that, heh. I guess the "now now now" stuff hasn't worn off yet .