Question:
These are BOTH unedited and unfinished, but I would love some feedback on how they're coming along. Both have similar themes, so I thought I'd post their progress together.
Exclavation Could Make Things Better
It's now or never.
Are following in footsteps really what life is to live for?
Your dreams redeemed will open eyes of nations
and will even wake up the setting sun.
Take your shots while you still have them
because we go so back that fleeing now would disrupt the setup that took so many years to make.
There is no point in making progress,
So if it's all that you've got, then you'll be alright,
Even if wasting everything seems worth it in the long run.
In this together, we will startle the world with what we know that they don't know.
It's killing them.
When they turn from ashes back into life
Is also when credit due to us will not be given.
But last time we met the concurrence was that it was worth it.
I've got to give this a try or we'll never know.
When sparks that would bring inspiration only bring you down
You know you've got to learn to appreciate the good things more.
The looking glass tower that the sun shines on radiates throughout
The lives that are willing to show it; without this I would be but none.
The only reason that you find so many faults with this world
Is because you search for them.
Ignoring them is in no way beneficial
But if they can't be fixed, they shouldn't be the focal point.
Remember that with the changing times
If we don't say things like we mean them,
Then enfolding all around us will be found
A letdown that apathy will never reconstruct.
Handed straight to the taking hand is opportunity worth observing.
If not spoken of, there is no purpose in pondering such thoughts.
Their blindsides will prevent safety.
We cannot afford to fail them now so break out of quiet murmering
And let us beat out something worth conquering.
We are going to change the world for one night at least.
(untitled as of yet)
Blooming eyes, I will save you.
Remember the taste of mourning and twilight?
Lighten up because you walk too close to death.
If only they could understand:
This is not the place for morbid goodbyes.
It's almost over and you're about to miss the point.
Islands will make their moves to sink at my hands
Because you've shown me communism at it's greatest.
Transcending down walkways
And realizing it's too late to say goodbye.
In time it will recover.
No, I won't fall with the best.
In perfect harmony there's hope for you in the end.
This is life, and I am taking back all that is mine.
You sang such a wonderful song.
Don't let scars fade
Because then I wouldn't be able to remember.
After leaves have blown away,
Something is buried in the fray.
Remember this, remember this:
Even the faintest sound can still be heard.
We must expedite this or else
Never rise to the cause that brought the opportunity
That has taken forever to conceive.
It's not just for you, but for us as a whole.
Accepting the pressure is part of the deal and
Learning to handle it eliminates our need to brawl.
You said it's over, we're history,
But at least that means we're leaving our mark on this world.
To live to see sunsets, let us not rush out of here.
I've got to see the result of this pain, our change.
This was long forgotten until remembered in
Desperate times of need.
You can't appreciate it if it wasn't there in the first place.
That's why we're creating true happiness:
To find out who we are and where we're headed.
Your people need to eliminate their fall.
At our own hands.
Even when it spills, we are clean.
This is what we are living for.
At our own hands,
While crushing untied knots,
Thanks to us the world will come back together.
We did this with out own hands.
Thanks and God Bless.
Answer:
Without going too in-depth, I'd say they're both pretty good songs, but that they a touch of cleaning up and some polish.
Oh, and you'd probably get more UCs, more quickly, if you posted songs separately. It's just a suspicion of mine, but two songs of yours together at once can take on the aspect of being overwhelming.