Question:
This song has been a long time coming, but I think that I'm all but done with it now. I might add a pre-chorus or something, not sure. Oh, and in case someone is wondering, the song isn't about a real person.
Angels over Anderson
All the angels love to fly
Through the night skies every week
They love the people here
They love to hear them sing
Lovely folks in a circle of praise
Something about a king of kings
And all the while Anderson’s
Been quietly listening
Lift every tongue and sing
Every word that you don’t mean
Like this moment means everything
And then you’ll walk away
You always walk away
Take a drive around the bend
Pass the campus and the trees
Make sure you pull that plank out
So you’ll be able to see
All the faces you never meet
Aren’t they your brothers and sisters
All the people you say you love
You shift a foot into the dirt
Lift every tongue and sing
Every word that you don’t mean
Like this moment means everything
And then you’ll walk away
You always walk away
God bless the oblivious
The glory of ignorance
You bring the best out of people
For all of the worst reasons
(repeated)
Love, love, love
Isn’t that our worst problem
We never seem to use it enough
And then they’ll away
They always walk away
So sing, sing, sing
Every word that you don’t mean
Like this moment means everything
And then you’ll walk away
You always walk away
(fake outro)
Oh good heavens
There’s an angel
In the closet
Turn on the lights
Look at the sign
For the righteous
His skin’s so pale its white
His feet are lifted off the ground
He doesn’t even make a sound
But where the hell are his wings
And as they all begin to scream
In a most unfamiliar key
“Oh good lord, it’s Andy!”
His halo hung around his neck
And no that’s not what you’d expect
But how could you think any less
Of him then you already did
Answer:
Drew, I can't say anything other than it's nothing short of beautifully amazing. You NEED to record your songs sometimes.
Answer:
Thanks Matt, I'm working on it
Anyone else?
Answer:
Originally Posted by SupaDrew Anyone else?
Lift every tongue and sing
Every word that you don’t mean
Like this moment means everything
And then you’ll walk away
You always walk away The third line, is it a Crowder reference?
I like the whole song, and it would be almost impossible to give it a line-by-line. I'll just say that some of the lines seem a tad rough, and it doesn't have the normal sheen of perfection your songs do, which could be a good thing to. At any rate, it's a great song.
Answer:
Good form and idea overall, and the ending certainly turns it from relatively bland into pretty interesting, but a lot of the individual lines are, shall we say, "clunky." Switching from the imperative to the future tense in the middle of all the choruses would be one example of this, I think.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Small The third line, is it a Crowder reference? Yes, but an unintentional one. I just hope that observant people like yourself won't read it as a subtle DCB bash.
I like the whole song, and it would be almost impossible to give it a line-by-line. I'll just say that some of the lines seem a tad rough, and it doesn't have the normal sheen of perfection your songs do, which could be a good thing to. At any rate, it's a great song. Yeah, it is kind of rough around the edges, and for that reason I'm still undecided if it's really finished or not (particularly the verses). There are some lines I really like but others which I want to revise somewhere down the road.
Originally Posted by Nate Good form and idea overall, and the ending certainly turns it from relatively bland into pretty interesting, but a lot of the individual lines are, shall we say, "clunky." Switching from the imperative to the future tense in the middle of all the choruses would be one example of this, I think. I didn't really catch the tense change, but I'm not surprised by it. I have a tendency to inadvertently change tenses while writing papers so it was probably just a matter of time before it leaked into my songwriting, heh.
Thanks guys.
Answer:
Originally Posted by SupaNova This song has been a long time coming, but I think that I'm all but done with it now. I might add a pre-chorus or something, not sure. Oh, and in case someone is wondering, the song isn't about a real person.
Liar! It's totally about this real guy I know named Anderson who always wears a novelty hat with an angel suspended above it.
Angels over Anderson
All the angels love to fly
Through the night skies every week
They love the people here
They love to hear them sing
Lovely folks in a circle of praise
Something about a king of kings
And all the while Anderson’s
Been quietly listening
Nice little introduction. My only note of critique would involve the use of "they." Do both "they"s in the third and fourth lines refer to the angels? If so, is "lovely folks" referring to the angels or to the people they're listening to? I may be the only one who's getting a little confused at that part...
Lift every tongue and sing
Every word that you don’t mean
Like this moment means everything
And then you’ll walk away
You always walk away
Nice. I completely understand where this is coming from...all too well...
Take a drive around the bend
Pass the campus and the trees
Make sure you pull that plank out
So you’ll be able to see
All the faces you never meet
Aren’t they your brothers and sisters
All the people you say you love
You shift a foot into the dirt
Nice work, though it seems a disconnect from the previous verse. That may not be too big a deal, but I'm just wondering who you're talking about in this verse. In the first verse, you're clearly talking about angels, Anderson, and some other people. Here you simply use the pronoun "you." You go from a third-person narrative in the first verse to a second-person narrative in the second verse.
God bless the oblivious
The glory of ignorance
You bring the best out of people
For all of the worst reasons
(repeated)
I like this.
Love, love, love
Isn’t that our worst problem
We never seem to use it enough
And then they’ll away
They always walk away This adds new meaning to the chorus and gives a little more of an idea who you're talking to throughout the song. Good work.
Oh good heavens
There’s an angel
In the closet
Turn on the lights
Look at the sign
For the righteous Nice switch-up here.
His skin’s so pale its white
His feet are lifted off the ground
He doesn’t even make a sound
But where the hell are his wings
And as they all begin to scream
In a most unfamiliar key
“Oh good lord, it’s Andy!”
His halo hung around his neck
And no that’s not what you’d expect
But how could you think any less
Of him then you already did Fantastic ending and it clarifies the rest of the song. However, it would be nice to have a reference point in the first verse as to who "you" is in the rest of the song. I mean, I get it, but it's still awkward in my mind to switch from third-person to second-person.
Great work on this song; I agree with Nate's assessment however. There's some awkward lines in this song that an edit might clean up.