Question:
I would like you to tell me what you think of this song. It's a collaboration between three people, and it's for a songwriting contest. Music is being worked on.
I Will Lead You
V1
You stepped out when you saw Me,
Though a storm was all around.
The surface that you walked on
Felt like solid ground.
But then your mind was pulled to
The swells that rose and fell.
Through all that I have done for you
It seems that you could tell
That:
C1
I will lead you, I will lead,
Though your life may not be perfect
And it might not go your way.
I will lead you
Though it may be hard to see
Me by your side.
I will lead you always,
I will lead you.
V2
You answered when I called you
To set my people free.
I showed you signs and wonders
For credibility.
But even then you doubted
And claimed you could not speak.
Instead of trusting, you
Seemed to forget completely
That:
C1
B
I can keep you from falling-but pick you up if you do
Oh precious child of mine-- Let me lead you
C1 (Twice maybe?)
Tag
I will lead you.
Answer:
I did get critique from another source who suggested "So you would all love/trust me" instead of "For credibility". Thoughts? (BTW, the deadline is coming up, so might want to critique this soon!)
Answer:
well, I honestly see nothing too great about this song. It's such a cliche topic that it's really boring to me. I'm sorry I can't offer any specific critique. You can listen to any P&W comp and hear songs saying the same thing in basically the same way. Maybe a P&W song wasn't the best choice for a contest. Although, it is a decent church song. I wouldn't be surprised to hear a worship team singing this.
good luck in the contest though and keep writing.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Adam_8287 well, I honestly see nothing too great about this song. It's such a cliche topic that it's really boring to me. I'm sorry I can't offer any specific critique. You can listen to any P&W comp and hear songs saying the same thing in basically the same way. Maybe a P&W song wasn't the best choice for a contest. Although, it is a decent church song. I wouldn't be surprised to hear a worship team singing this.
good luck in the contest though and keep writing. Yeah, I know, it is a bit (!) cliche. But then, with the topics we had to choose from, we have to try to build a better mousetrap or re-invent the wheel!
Topics:
a. NEW CREATION
b. LEAD ME IN YOUR WAYS
c. DESPARATE
d. LET ME INTRODUCE YOU
Cliche all right. I think we did what we could with the one we chose.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Godslilrosebud V1
You stepped out when you saw Me,
Though a storm was all around.
The surface that you walked on
Felt like solid ground. This is a good opening, nothing special, but it works. I can't think of anything that obviously needs changed.
But then your mind was pulled to
The swells that rose and fell.
Through all that I have done for you
It seems that you could tell
That: I might try to change the first two lines, especially the second one.
To me, it doesn't work well, but it's a small thing.
I also might experiment with the tenses of the last two lines, like:
But then your mind was pulled to
The swells that rose and fell
Through all that I have done for you
It seemed like you could tell
That:
C1
I will lead you, I will lead,
Though your life may not be perfect
And it might not go your way.
I will lead you
Though it may be hard to see
Me by your side.
I will lead you always,
I will lead you. The chorus might be better if it went a little more like this, in my opinion:
I will lead you, I will lead
Though things may not be perfect
And life might not go your way
I will lead you, I will lead
Though it may be hard to see me
Just trust and obey* and
I will lead you
*Something needs to rhyme with way
V2
You answered when I called you
To set my people free.
I showed you signs and wonders
For credibility. Decent.
But even then you doubted
And claimed you could not speak.
Instead of trusting, you
Seemed to forget completely
That: Again, pretty good, nothing that I see needing to be changed.
Overall, a pretty good song, I could hear Casting Crowns doing this.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Godslilrosebud Yeah, I know, it is a bit (!) cliche. But then, with the topics we had to choose from, we have to try to build a better mousetrap or re-invent the wheel!
Topics:
a. NEW CREATION
b. LEAD ME IN YOUR WAYS
c. DESPARATE
d. LET ME INTRODUCE YOU
Cliche all right. I think we did what we could with the one we chose.
Is this a Christian songwriting contest? I've never been fond of contests with categories like that. A song comes from inspiration, not choosing a theme off of a piece of paper.
But yes, I think you did well with what you had to work with...probably alot better than I could have done.
Answer:
THanks. I'll send the link to the team.