Question:
Bring You Back To Me
Isn’t it funny when
The very thing that made you feel alive
Kills you like a cigarette
Burning at both ends
When distance comes between
And I miss you
I’ll always be there to hear you out
I know all of your dreams
As the moon shines, and stars rearrange
I pray that they will bring you back to me

Stuffing envelopes
With all that remains of my sanity
You hold it all, just like always
Will you send it back to me?
Answer:
Originally Posted by Adam_8287 Bring You Back To Me
Isn’t it funny when
The very thing that made you feel alive
Kills you like a cigarette
Burning at both ends
When distance comes between
And I miss you
I’ll always be there to hear you out
I know all of your dreams
As the moon shines, and stars rearrange
I pray that they will bring you back to me

Stuffing envelopes
With all that remains of my sanity
You hold it all, just like always
Will you send it back to me?
I like this song, you dont reveal anything except that you are deep
Answer:
...is that a good thing?
Answer:
Bring You Back To Me
Isn’t it funny when
The very thing that made you feel alive
Kills you like a cigarette
Burning at both ends
When distance comes between
And I miss you One thing that immediately stands out is that there isn't any real rhyme scheme, which isn't bad. I like the cigarette metaphor, and the general metaphor isn't bad, a solid verse, definitely.
I’ll always be there to hear you out
I know all of your dreams
As the moon shines, and stars rearrange
I pray that they will bring you back to me This seems a touch out of line with the first verse, but that's forgivable. There's a touch of confusion here as to who is talking. A slight dichotomy between the somewhat powerless feeling in the first verse, and then the apparent ominscience here. Still, not bad. I might add 'the' before 'stars' just to add a little bit of clarity, and the final line is a little bit stilted, I'd recommend a contraction or two just to smooth it out.
Stuffing envelopes
With all that remains of my sanity
You hold it all, just like always
Will you send it back to me? Is this a purposeful juxtaposition between always being there to hear his/her out and knowing all his/her dreams and his/her holding it all, just like always, or was that accidental?
Something about this last part is a little bit cliche, but not terribly. Not especially noticable. Overall, a good song. Keep on writing.
Answer:
This song is about me being here in Illinois and my girlfriend being back in Pennsylvania. What I'm saying in the first verse is that being with her makes me feel alive but at the same time kills me (alot like smoking) because I'm so far away from her. The chorus is simply stating my devotion. The last verse is about me writing her letters and I'm giving everything I have to making it work out. The last two lines refer to her holding my sanity and I'm losing it becuase we're so far away.
so yeah, it's a cheesy love song lol.
I've been disregarding rhyming if it doesn't happen naturally. It's always been something that I don't see as necessary if you have a good song.
The chorus works with the melody and harmonic rythym of the song, adding "the" would through that off. The last line flows well in the song.
juxtaposition? what? lol.
Answer:
It's kind of short...do you think you might be able to write another verse somewhere in there?
Answer:
Good songs aren't always long. In fact, length does not make a song good. I've always tried to say what I want to say with as few words as possible. I feel the song is complete lyrically. The verses are sung slower, and they have a couple different parts.
Answer:
Okay. I caught most of what you meant just by reading through the song, but I had one or two things wrong, and now it makes more sense. The chorus does still seem a touch out of place, but I suppose it works.
And I'm pretty sure you could rearrange a few words to make 'the' work. But it's your song, and thus, your call.