Question:
This is just something I wrote today and its different than anything i have ever written:
Disappointment pulls at my heart
Rejection tears it apart
And all the King’s horses and all the King’s men
Can’t put me back together again
Question cloud my mind
Answers, who knows what I'll find
I'm wide awake and I can't sleep
With my misery, I'm buried 6 feet deep
But we go through times like these
So that we get stronger
I've been working on the structure and I've added and taken out some parts. It will be finished soon.
Answer:
Anyone???
Answer:
I think that what you have so far is pretty good. I'm not a huge fan of the whole "six feet deep" cliche, and while the "And all the King’s horses and all the King’s men / Can’t put me back together again" line is clever, it might come off as a little bit cheesy, overall I think you have some good stuff to work with. I'd like to see where you end up taking this.
Answer:
I think I'm finished now...however I'm not so sure about the Extra chorus near the end:
Disappointment pulls at my heart
Rejection tears it apart
And all the King’s horses and all the King’s men
Can’t put me back together again
Question cloud my mind
Answers, who knows what I'll find
I'm wide awake and I can't sleep
With my misery, I'm buried 6 feet deep
But we go through times like these
So that we get stronger
Understanding, oh I want more
Demanding better than before
I'm knocking on the door, won't you let me out
of this dark room full of pity and doubt
Sorrow, its only for a time
Tomorrow's another day, another dime
I'm in last place in this rat race
'Cause this fast pace makes me a big disgrace
But we go through times like these
So that we get stronger
Strong
I want to be strong
I need to be strong
Stronger for You
Strong
I have to be strong
Will You make me strong?
Stronger in You
Repentance of my soul
Forgiveness that makes me whole
Understanding why I am here
Understanding theres nothing to fear
Thank You for saving me
I am grateful eternilly
Not until I see Your face
Will I fully understand Your grace
'Cause we go through times like these
So that we get stronger
Please tell me what you think!
Answer:
Hrm, I actually really like this song! I really like the flow of the song... what I kinda see, and you prob don't lol, is almost a hip hop feel like a sort of Linkin Park song.. You go into the chorus as singing, but the verses are almost a hip hop/rap feel as your going through them. I really like how you use words and how you make them flow. The song actually sounds very original even though you've used some "wordage" from other songs. You definately have a huge potential here. I wish I had a Mic on my comp so I could possibly run through it and give you a feel of what I was thinking, but our old Moniter broke so I got a flatscreen with no mic now . Oh Well! Anyway.. Great job! I wanna hear a recording!
Answer:
actually...this is sort of funny...but its more of a slow song that I wrote on the piano...If I can I'll try to record it at friends house...but dont know
Answer:
I hate it when things go bump in the night!