Question:
I really have no idea what to name this song yet, maybe I will after I get a second verse finished. Anyway, plz critique, comment, and generally rip this apart. I love feedback.
v1.
Tears fall slowly
As I drop to my knees
Another betrayal
Reveals the truth of me
Broken and weeping
I fall before Your throne
Hear me, my Father
I'm drowning here alone
chorus
Break my chains
and save me from my frailties
I lay them at your feet, Lord
The feet of my King
I'm cryin' as I fall down
My hands still stained with your blood
Wash me in your Spirit, Lord
Consume me
And make me clean again
Answer:
Cry for Mercy?
Answer:
wow. I REALLY relate to this!!!
And it is really beautiful.
Answer:
reading those lyrics i couldnt help but get a linkin park type vibe from it.
i think its got great lyrics, would sound good in a rapcore type sound. rap the verse, sing the chorus
Answer:
Originally Posted by Zealot_4_him v1.
Tears fall slowly
As I drop to my knees
Another betrayal
Reveals the truth of me
Really enjoyed the play in words in the first 4 lines:
"tears fall" - "knees drop"
"betrayal" - "reveals" (hidden vs. well, revealed)
I would try to work this same kind of wordplay into the 2nd verse. But it sounds like you've got a really good start of a song!
Keep it up,
Gray~
Answer:
Originally Posted by Zealot_4_him I really have no idea what to name this song yet,
How about "Consume Me" ?
Seems to tie into your chorus as well as an overall message of the verses.
Gray~
Answer:
Originally Posted by Jenacen Cry for Mercy?
i like it........
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no no no not rapcore!!!!! lol. it would be a shame to waste a song this good on rapcore lol.
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Originally Posted by Dirt_Jumper no no no not rapcore!!!!! lol. it would be a shame to waste a song this good on rapcore lol. I completely agree. I like rapcore, but this is NOT a rapcore song.
I really like the song, dude. And I'm sure lots of people can definitely relate, including me.
Answer:
thanks for the feedback, and the compliments. I've been working on this one for a long time. As for the whole rapcore thing... I'm afraid not. I love linkin park, but it's just not my style. I think a closer comparison to how I'm going with this is probly Evanescence. Very dark and brooding, with a rather slow, lilting progression on the vocals.
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kool
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nice song.. nice lyrics it pretty nice ... after reading it.. it is more to slow song not rapcore ...
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I love it, truly.
Answer:
Cool song! Awesome lyrics! Keep rocking on!