Question:
Anyhow, I just wrote this a bit ago, I realize it's a bit raw... and it almost seems like there's alot missing to it... but anyway here it is, and please criticize unmercilessly... I'm looking for other people's input on how I can declare it "finished" (that's a laugh, considering I never consider any of my songs finished, lol)
I Wanted To Unlock Your Heart, Until I Misplaced The Key
[verse1]
the price you pay will decide your fate
you'll meet your demise..
a blow to the heart
in one last, life-shattering surprise
you can't say you weren't warned
though your life was wasted
but not to worry, you will be greatly mourned.
[chorus]
with a flick of your hand
and a toss of your wrist
you ignore my words
to see you walk away
brings me to my knees
I can't help you now,
to unlock your heart
it's too late, I've misplaced the key.
[verse2]
I understand where you're coming from
I know why you hate
you question all my motives
while you constantly turn away
I just want to tell you
what's to come your way
but now I'm lost too.
[chorus/ bridge]
with a flick of your hand
and a toss of your wrist
you ignore my words
to see you walk away
brings me to my knees
I can't help you now,
to unlock your heart
it's too late, I've misplaced the key.
[outro]
but it's far too late... I've misplaced the key...
Answer:
Oh wow, I bet that looks intelligent. I misspelled my song title in the thread title... how embarassing... even worse, I don't know how to change it.
You'll have to forgive that...
Answer:
Anyone?
I guess I'm a little impatient and anxious. I want to know what you guys think !!!
Answer:
Here's another song I wrote... I would say, if I ever had a cd, I'd put this as the very last song... it just gives me that kind of vibe...
I've just BARELY started trying to put some music to it.. I just wrote it today, so I haven't gotten far... but anyhow, I'm thinking it should be pretty fast... a really short song...
Say Goodbye To The Things You Once Knew
You turn to look as I walk away...
I leave it all behind...
with nothing more to say...
and yet I see it... as all so confusing
I'm saying goodbye to the things I once knew
yes, I'm saying goodbye to all the things I used to know...
Say goodbye! To the things I once knew...
don't turn around...
I won't even wave my farewell
just say goodbye! to the things I once knew...
To turn and leave it behind,
it seems so attractive...
don't brace yourself
only to be letdown
you've decided to just say goodbye to the things you once knew
Say goodbye! To the things you once knew...
don't turn around...
don't wave your farwell
just say goodbye! to the things you once knew...
Say goodbye! To the things you once knew...
don't turn around...
don't wave your farwell
just say goodbye! to the things you once knew...
Just say goodbye.. to all those things... you once knew...
Answer:
its pretty good, some flaws but overall its a good song, considering its the first song youve actually finished. lol me and my friend just finished our first song on tuesday, we have like, a ton of unfinished songs in the making its fun stuff.
the first one lol.
Answer:
Well thanks, but actually it's not finished... oh no, far from it. It's got quite a bit of stuff wrong with it.. I'm just figuring out exactly how to fix it and make it how I want.
Answer:
Yeah, it looks like you've got a good start.
Answer:
Haha, well thanks...
I'm thinking about working on it tonight... maybe later...
It's so funny, how you write a song... and everytime you look at it afterwords you just want to change more and more pieces of it. That's why I posted these almost as soon as I wrote them... to see what people thought before I went and did my editing. To see where I needed to concentrate my editing the most...