Question:
pass me the beer, sweetie
don't try to protect me
you know that if I don't drink now
I will when you're not around
my mind is getting lonely
without the buzz to keep me company
my conscience isn't sober
so why the hell should I be?
hand me the aspirin, hun
if you care as much as you say
I'll need it in the morning
when you're not around
Answer:
Originally Posted by Swanky pass me the beer, sweetie
don't try to protect me
you know that if I don't drink now
I will when you're not around
Well....whatever, it doesn't have any of the...whatchamacallthething...zing, I guess, of what you usually write. It's an okay base to build around, but it doesn't have much direction.
my mind is getting lonely
without the buzz to keep me company
my conscience isn't sober
so why the hell should I be? The first two lines are kind of clever, but other than that, it feels as if you're taking the angle of "this is where I'm stuck with no way out," except not including the sarcasm. Or the "I don't care. bring it on, I'm done." except again, you have a hint of the self-parody that goes along with message songs. It's a little amiguous. Plus, doesn't the rhyme scheme change?
hand me the aspirin, hun
if you care as much as you say
I'll need it in the morning
when you're not around A little more your normal songwriting voice here, but still, it just feels a little "wrong", I don't know how to explain it, but something in this song grates a little bit....but I'm not sure what. The self-parody returns a little more, and it's got one of those message-song endings....
I don't mean to sound short, or snippy or anything, please know that, it just kind of clashes. Maybe I don't get it... It seems kind of pointless, really.