Question:
It's a song of betrayal...not just from the standpoint of like a relationship gone wrong but from the standpoint of any type of betrayal...Tear it apart...
Aceldama
V1
And my caller I.D. has been starving for your number
I never said I needed you
I never said I hated you
Speeding home from your place...yeah 100's overrated
And you could make me feel alive
By those same hands I could die...
C
And you said you could freeze out in this cold
Let's see if those burning bridges will keep you warm...
Your funeral march plays so strong in your head
So you can't hear all the fire alarms...
V2
I'll beg you for leeches to drain all this bad blood
I never said I hated you
I never said I needed you
I'll wait for the lake to reach for the fire from our eyes
This could make me feel alive
By those same hands I could die
B
Sever the heartstrings that held us together
Tie them around my neck
Jumping off rocks like little kids
Gravity will do the rest...
Answer:
Oh, my goodness, Kent...... that was.... amazing. It is hereby named favorite thing you've ever written.
And my caller I.D. has been starving for your number
I never said I needed you
I never said I hated you
Speeding home from your place...yeah 100's overrated
And you could make me feel alive
By those same hands I could die...
I love this part. The bit about the caller ID is awesome.... and the irony of "never said I needed you, never said I hated you" is great.
And you said you could freeze out in this cold
Let's see if those burning bridges will keep you warm...
Your funeral march plays so strong in your head
So you can't hear all the fire alarms...
I already read this part, but it's even better the second time.
I'll beg you for leeches to drain all this bad blood
I never said I hated you
I never said I needed you
I'll wait for the lake to reach for the fire from our eyes
This could make me feel alive
By those same hands I could die
GREAT imagery. There is so much feeling in this part. Wow.
Sever the heartstrings that held us together
Tie them around my neck
Jumping off rocks like little kids
Gravity will do the rest...
And for the finale... this is my favorite part.
You are so talented. It's amazing.
Answer:
A few small comments:
1. Isn't it usually spelled "Akeldama," with a k?
2. There's a powerful momentum to most of your lyrics, but there are just a few places where a few extraneous words might slow it down. Obviously this depends on what style you're envisioning for the song, but the phrases that trip me up while reading it are:
Originally Posted by Opie ...yeah 100's overrated...
...Let's see if those burning bridges... [maybe substitute: "will burning bridges keep you warm?"

...can't hear all...
...to drain all this bad blood...
Again, it depends on your own style, but if you're going for a strong emotional effect, every word should add to that effect - and in most of the song, it does, especially in the bridge.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Blindman A few small comments:
1. Isn't it usually spelled "Akeldama," with a k?
2. There's a powerful momentum to most of your lyrics, but there are just a few places where a few extraneous words might slow it down. Obviously this depends on what style you're envisioning for the song, but the phrases that trip me up while reading it are:
Again, it depends on your own style, but if you're going for a strong emotional effect, every word should add to that effect - and in most of the song, it does, especially in the bridge.
I've looked it up in a few different bibles and seen it both ways so aunno...I liked the C version better...
Yeah that was kind of a rough draft I probably should clean up a few words but they make the lyrics stand more complete with the rhythm...
Answer: