Question:
Well, another new one. Kind of a political theme here.
Verse 1
We're living in a place
Where what happens here stays here,
An excuse for the way
We live, no one will ever know
That we're running out of ways,
To say "I don't care".
That we're running out of games
So we make up our own
(rules and all)
Chorus
The state of things,
Is that we don't really know.
The way that things
Are beginning to go
We're burning all the maps,
Extinguishing the beacons
Ignoring the facts,
And making up reasons,
For the way things are today
Verse 2
Everything's bigger here
Bigger houses, bigger cars, bigger lies,
The size of our tears,
As we're so unsatisfied
'Cause self-indulgence
Stems from ignorance
When we're standing here
On the other side of the fence
(we've made it now)
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*ahem*
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Ok, waiting for an rc here.
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I like it. I can't give a real RC, but it's good. It flows nicely, and it they way you address the topic is cool. Good job!
Answer:
Originally Posted by emo_boy Well, another new one. Kind of a political theme here. Nifty.
Verse 1
We're living in a place
Where what happens here stays here,
An excuse for the way
We live, no one will ever know
That we're running out of ways,
To say "I don't care".
That we're running out of games
So we make up our own
(rules and all) Good stuff. I like this verse a lot.
Chorus
The state of things,
Is that we don't really know.
The way that things
Are beginning to go
We're burning all the maps,
Extinguishing the beacons
Ignoring the facts,
And making up reasons,
For the way things are today Not bad, but I'm not picking up a lyrical hook. Could you perhaps make a quick recording of the melody? Also, "extinguishing the beacons" is a bit of a mouthful in terms of syllables.
Verse 2
Everything's bigger here
Bigger houses, bigger cars, bigger lies,
The size of our tears,
As we're so unsatisfied
'Cause self-indulgence
Stems from ignorance
When we're standing here
On the other side of the fence
(we've made it now) Not as strong as the first verse. I like the transition to tears from the first two lines though. The last three lines are pretty weak though. They could be made a lot stronger.
I like this one. But the chorus doesn't really jump out at me and the second verse could use a little work.
Answer:
Ok, thanks for the rc. I don't know if you noticed the in the verses where I used the two sayings "what happens here stays here" and "everything's bigger here" from Las Vegas and Texas.
Answer:
Originally Posted by emo_boy Ok, thanks for the rc. I don't know if you noticed the in the verses where I used the two sayings "what happens here stays here" and "everything's bigger here" from Las Vegas and Texas. Ah, clever. I'm Canadian, so those kinds of things don't jump out at me.
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Oh, lol. so that explains the uncanny cleverness and wit.
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Originally Posted by emo_boy Oh, lol. so that explains the uncanny cleverness and wit. It's true.
Reading this again makes me appreciate the state slogans beginnings of the song. I still think it could be tightened up though.
Answer:
Yeah, this is of course the rough draft, and I haven't taken it to my band yet, so it will get redone when I do that.
Answer:
Originally Posted by emo_boy Yeah, this is of course the rough draft, and I haven't taken it to my band yet, so it will get redone when I do that. Sweet. I look forward to it.