Question:
Here's a bunch of fragments; I haven't written a complete song in a while.
Formless and Void
Maybe the world should have remained formless and void forever
How will I ever know for myself whether I should even exist
Meaningless, meaningless, all is meaningless
We were formed out of dust being blown in the wind
[chorus]
The spirit of God is moving on the waters
And I'm drowning at the bottom of the sea
With a word you separate the land from the water
And with a breath you resuscitate me
The Distance
Soemtimes I wish hell would spill forth
And confirm everything I've suspected
But would we even notice the difference?
Fallen man and fallen angels
The existence of both is rejected
We don't even notice the distance
Between God and man
Between our foolish selves and his holy mountain
untitled
There are six things I'll never know
Seven things I'll never understand
Son of God becoming son of man
Mysteries I'll never see
Wonders of the world I can't perceive
Grace given to save a wretch like me
There are six things the Lord detests
Seven things despicable to him
A brother who stirs up dissension
False witness that pours out lies
Looking at others with haughty eyes
The wicked schemes that our hearts devise
Idolize the Fallen
[chorus]
Everyone is divine
(the gods have come down from the mountain)
Deity is mine
(close your eyes and idolize the fallen)
Regrets Are the Currency of my Nation
Everything's more romantic by candlelight
I lit so many it seemed like daylight
Before I swallowed the evening
With a glass of water to help it go down
[chorus]
I'll burn every bridge I jump off
And pray there's water below
To put out the flame before I drown
I'll swim until my strength gives out
Then stand up in the silt
And watch the smoke rising for hours
Hope is Dead and We Have Killed Her
Hope floated for weeks
On the wreckage of her ship
But we sent out no search parties
We just let it slip from our minds
Hope washed up on shore
Desperate for breath, desperate for help
But we left her behind to fend for herself
[chorus]
Hope is dead and we have killed her
Now we are left with no excuse
We wander the world, lost and bewildered
These empty apologies are no use
Hope speaks beneath the earth
As we pile dirt on her casket
A eulogy defines her worth
Then she's swiftly forgotten
Suck Your Anthumb
There's a lie at work in my life
That says that I'm all right
But I am never just fine
I am never okay
[chorus]
Suck your anthumb
If it helps you sleep at night
And when your life rings hollow
We'll find out who is right
My Main Export is Metaphors
I would speak in metaphors all of the time
But my mind enver moves as fast as my mouth
So I keep as many similes as I possibly can
Just lying around so they're ready-at-hand
But I can never find one when I need to impress you
[chorus]
My main export is metaphors
But my economy is failing
Because the harvest has run dry
I'm gleaning from the threshing floor
Hoping there's some remaining
To keep me running for a while
Overplayed and Underappreciated
We'll fast-forward through our favorite parts
We don't want them to get old
And change the stationn when our favorite songs
Come on the radio
[chorus]
And just because I don't think I can stand
Spending every waking hour with you
Doesn't mean I don't love you
Trading Jabez for Job
I have never felt the pain of losing everything
Instead I simply gain all these undeserved blessings
And though I crave prosperity
Fame and notoriety
I know that that is not what's best for me
[chorus]
I'm better off lying naked in a gutter
Without a single son or daughter
And though there's boils on my face
I will never curse your name
Sitting seven days in silence
Until my friends offer their guidance
But they should have just kept their mouths shut
This is how I learn
To depend on you
Losing all I never earned
There's nothing left to pursue
Naked I came from my mother's womb
And naked I will return
Answer:
Originally Posted by Skeeter-Dan Formless and Void
Maybe the world should have remained formless and void forever
How will I ever know for myself whether I should even exist
Meaningless, meaningless, all is meaningless
We were formed out of dust being blown in the wind
[chorus]
The spirit of God is moving on the waters
And I'm drowning at the bottom of the sea
With a word you separate the land from the water
And with a breath you resuscitate me I don't really like this one. I find it pretty trite and cliche.
The Distance
Soemtimes I wish hell would spill forth
And confirm everything I've suspected
But would we even notice the difference?
Fallen man and fallen angels
The existence of both is rejected
We don't even notice the distance
Between God and man
Between our foolish selves and his holy mountain I like this better than the first, but it could use a little work.
untitled
There are six things I'll never know
Seven things I'll never understand
Son of God becoming son of man
Mysteries I'll never see
Wonders of the world I can't perceive
Grace given to save a wretch like me
There are six things the Lord detests
Seven things despicable to him
A brother who stirs up dissension
False witness that pours out lies
Looking at others with haughty eyes
The wicked schemes that our hearts devise I really, really like these verses. It sounds sorta Switchfooty to me.
Idolize the Fallen
[chorus]
Everyone is divine
(the gods have come down from the mountain)
Deity is mine
(close your eyes and idolize the fallen) Wonderful. I'd really like to see you make a complete song out of this.
Hope is Dead and We Have Killed Her
Hope floated for weeks
On the wreckage of her ship
But we sent out no search parties
We just let it slip from our minds
Hope washed up on shore
Desperate for breath, desperate for help
But we left her behind to fend for herself
[chorus]
Hope is dead and we have killed her
Now we are left with no excuse
We wander the world, lost and bewildered
These empty apologies are no use
Hope speaks beneath the earth
As we pile dirt on her casket
A eulogy defines her worth
Then she's swiftly forgotten This is an alright set of verses. If you could add a rhyme sceme, it'd be better. Great start, though.
My Main Export is Metaphors
I would speak in metaphors all of the time
But my mind enver moves as fast as my mouth
So I keep as many similes as I possibly can
Just lying around so they're ready-at-hand
But I can never find one when I need to impress you
[chorus]
My main export is metaphors
But my economy is failing
Because the harvest has run dry
I'm gleaning from the threshing floor
Hoping there's some remaining
To keep me running for a while This is quite interesting, but I don't see where it's going. This could be potentially be a great song, depending on the direction you take.
Overplayed and Underappreciated
We'll fast-forward through our favorite parts
We don't want them to get old
And change the stationn when our favorite songs
Come on the radio
[chorus]
And just because I don't think I can stand
Spending every waking hour with you
Doesn't mean I don't love you I like the title. This could be a great song, too. It needs another strong verse or two.
[quote] Trading Jabez for Job
I have never felt the pain of losing everything
Instead I simply gain all these undeserved blessings
And though I crave prosperity
Fame and notoriety
I know that that is not what's best for me The last line seems to trite and forced to me.
[chorus]
I'm better off lying naked in a gutter
Without a single son or daughter
And though there's boils on my face
I will never curse your name
Sitting seven days in silence
Until my friends offer their guidance
But they should have just kept their mouths shut I really like this chorus, but instead of "they should have," I think it should be "They should just keep".
This is how I learn
To depend on you
Losing all I never earned
There's nothing left to pursue
Naked I came from my mother's womb
And naked I will return Great verse, I really like it.
All in all, you've got a few potentially good songs, and others that I don't see going anywhere. Great start, though. Keep it up.
Answer:
The untitled one was the best. You could make a full song out of that, I think, with very little effort.
Answer:
since this one was brought back, I also really like the untitled one.