|
"Feeling" RC
Question: This song's about my experiences with infatuation...RC!!!!! Verse 1 I've got that feeling That words just can't describe I've got that feeling I wanna be by your side I've got that feeling Where all I want is you I've got that feeling Cuz nothing else will do Chorus Can't shake it Can't brake it Gotta admit i might just maybe like it Can't shake it Can't brake it I don't care cuz right now i really hate it Verse 2 I've got that feeling I could never let you know I've got that feeling I think it's starting to show I've got that feeling Deep inside of me I've got that feeling And it's so easy to see Chorus Chorus (higher key) End Answer: Originally Posted by rippinforjesus Verse 1 I've got that feeling That words just can't describe I've got that feeling I wanna be by your side I've got that feeling Where all I want is you I've got that feeling Cuz nothing else will do It seems a little repetitive, you could insert modifiers, like, "because I've got that feeling/nothing else will do" or "that makes me wannna be by your side" And, for some reason, the "That words just can't describe" would sound better if you took out the "Words" and put something else in, the rhythm seems a little weird. Chorus Can't shake it Can't brake it Gotta admit i might just maybe like it Can't shake it Can't brake it I don't care cuz right now i really hate it I like the contrast between liking it and hating it, you swung that well. "Might" and "Maybe" are redundant, but on the other hand, they work well together. Verse 2 I've got that feeling I could never let you know I've got that feeling I think it's starting to show I've got that feeling Deep inside of me I've got that feeling And it's so easy to see I'd recommend something like, "I've still got that feeling." because the structure is already pretty repetitive. Only one other thing that I can think of off the top of my head, if it's deep inside of you, it's not easy to see, and vice versa, if it's easy to see, then you're exposed on the outside. The Chorus is the best part of it, you have the contrast down extremely well, the verses might need a bit of work, but the chorus is definitely worth working around. It's a good start. Answer: Thank You for your comments, I will continue to work on it! Answer: Originally Posted by rippinforjesus This song's about my experiences with infatuation...RC!!!!! Verse 1 I've got that feeling That words just can't describe I've got that feeling I wanna be by your side I've got that feeling Where all I want is you I've got that feeling Cuz nothing else will do Chorus Can't shake it Can't brake it Gotta admit i might just maybe like it Can't shake it Can't brake it I don't care cuz right now i really hate it Verse 2 I've got that feeling I could never let you know I've got that feeling I think it's starting to show I've got that feeling Deep inside of me I've got that feeling And it's so easy to see Chorus Chorus (higher key) End Meh. Its ok. It's a very short song, unless youre planning on making this a slow song. Then it would be a slow, short song. The rhymes in the verses are very cliche. You dont know how hard i try to steer away from the ever-tempting "me-see" rhyme, also, the "you-do". The first rhyme between describe and side is good, it isnt cliche and its got a nice ring to it. The song is very general. (was that intended?) It's ok though, i'm not gonna lie. The chorus is good besides the ever-repeating "it". That is good sometimes though, just depends on the song and the person listening to it. Personally, I don't like it when i hear a song that has something like that. And also, like Small said, the redundant might and maybe but are ok right now and the contrast between liking and hating it. The chorus is fine (not for me though ), the verses need some work and maybe adding one more would make it more than a minute long . It's ok though. Peace. Copyright © 2007 - 2008 www.thanktoday.com
|
|