Question:
Okay, I've given up on the song thread, because no one is posting, so I'll go back to individual threads.

-Wounds-

Wounds being torn apart
Blood mixing with your tears
Pain like you thought you forgot
Gathered over all the years

Hope left you long ago
Abandoned you
Just like the ones you loved
It can't be true

-chorus-
It's gonna be okay
Someone is looking out for you
Even though you don't see the light of day
God can heal, he'll heal your wounds

Love seems so far away
What's the point of even trying?
Once upon a time you were happy
Now your heart is dying

-chorus-

-bridge-
You're waiting for something
That can save your life
I'm trying to show you something
That can save your life

-chorus 2x-
Answer:
Originally Posted by Mara Okay, I've given up on the song thread, because no one is posting, so I'll go back to individual threads.
Good idea...this can be a slow forum.

-Wounds-

Wounds being torn apart
Blood mixing with your tears
Pain like you thought you forgot
Gathered over all the years
Wow. GOOD stuff.
Hope left you long ago
Abandoned you
Just like the ones you loved
It can't be true
Again, very nice. I like the first verse a little bit better and I can't exactly place why. This is still good though.
-chorus-
It's gonna be okay
Someone is looking out for you
Even though you don't see the light of day
God can heal, he'll heal your wounds
To be blunt, it's too cliche. Your verses are way too strong for a chorus like this...Try to find a better, more original way to say this, or a different angle.
Love seems so far away
What's the point of even trying?
Once upon a time you were happy
Now your heart is dying

-chorus-
NICE.

-bridge-
You're waiting for something
That can save your life
I'm trying to show you something
That can save your life
-chorus 2x-
This is cool too.
Overall, I think you have some really strong stuff there, especially in the verses. The chorus was just too weak for me compared to everything else. I think that if you get a stronger chorus in here this song will be awesome. It's already quite good.
Answer:
I agree, its awesome, except the chorus seems to step down a level from the depth of the rest of the song, if you know what I mean. Flyguy gave a good little review there and I don't have anything to add to it. I like the imagery and emotion in this song, keep up the good work.
Answer:
Re-wrote the chorus. Here it is (although I'll prolly edit the post and add it)

You're gonna be okay (I really wanted to keep this line simple and clear)
His eyes are always following (crying for) you
Even though you can't help but be afraid
God will heal, he'll heal your wounds


Yeah, it's not much better than it was before I'll keep trying if you guys still don't like it, so tell me!!!
Answer:
Well to be honest, I still think that it's a little weak. The verses are good though...I'd leave them and just try to work some other chorus in there.