Question:
By Any Other Name
V1)Vulnerable, A holy wind tears through me/Raised from the ashes of the darkness/I've known no wrong except the world within me/Dreams of perfection superceded by a peacefulness/I reach out(I'll bet it tastes so good)/Oh it tastes so good(Not just one bite can be enough)/No turning back now/Oh it tastes so good...
C)Could it be...Could it be the only way to save myself from dying in this shame/Is to run back to the one thing that scares me more than anything/Could it be...could it be that no matter what I do that I can't stop running from you/Apart from these thorns, I'm crimson stained and withering away...By any other name...
V2)Shame graces my room in shadows out of reach/It falls down, a smothering blanket in my sleep/Awakened from these dreams of indecency/I've denied you all these times...I'm blinded...This is all I need...
B)A perfect image reflected in the sea/How could I expect for you to look anything like me/You must have known I'd always turn away/ I've pinned you to this cross more leaving you more dissapointed every day...
Last C)Could it be...Could it be the only way to save myself from dying in this shame/Is to run back to the one thing that scares me more than anything/Could it be...could it be that no matter what I do that I can't stop running from you/Apart from these thorns, I'm crimson stained and withering away...By any other name...I'd still put you through all of this pain...
Answer:
Originally Posted by Opie By Any Other Name
Nice title, but i really dont see how the title, or the reference in the chorus really have anything to do with the song.
V1)Vulnerable, A holy wind tears through me/Raised from the ashes of the darkness/I've known no wrong except the world within me/Dreams of perfection superceded by a peacefulness/
The first half of this section of vs1 seems to make some sense, but i doesnt fit the second half (where you start out "dreams of perfection...").
I reach out(I'll bet it tastes so good)/Oh it tastes so good(Not just one bite can be enough)/No turning back now/Oh it tastes so good...
Doesnt seem to fit with the first part of vs1, it seems like it sets its self apart from the rest of the verse. And like that (because it seems to stand alone in vs1) it really doesnt make sense. You need to spend time leading up to the thought, and making it clearer.
C)Could it be...Could it be the only way to save myself from dying in this shame/Is to run back to the one thing that scares me more than anything/Could it be...could it be that no matter what I do that I can't stop running from you/Apart from these thorns, I'm crimson stained and withering away...
I like the chorus, the wording is nice. But it isnt very clear, and it doesnt seem to complete the thought started in vs1 (which generally a chorus should do).
By any other name...
same as with the title, it really doesnt seem to have much to do with the song.
V2)Shame graces my room in shadows out of reach/It falls down, a smothering blanket in my sleep/Awakened from these dreams of indecency/I've denied you all these times...I'm blinded...This is all I need...
Ahh, much better then the first vs. For one it isnt divided. It seems to me (then again im really tired) that it is 2 different thoughts in this vs, but they are very well connected through a common subject. Only thing i dont like in the whole verse is "I'm blinded...This is all I need".
Even tho it isnt much, it still affects the feel of the vs. Maybe they would fit better as the subject for another vs all together?
B)A perfect image reflected in the sea/How could I expect for you to look anything like me/You must have known I'd always turn away/ I've pinned you to this cross more leaving you more dissapointed every day...
Nothing really to say about this. In the last sentence tho it would be better if you connected the 2 thoughts "ive pinned you to the cross," and "leaving you more dissapointed..." better. The sentence really doesnt support itself, its 2 different thoughts with nothing to divide them, or to connect them. Other then that one small thing, the bridge is really good. Nice job
Last C)Could it be...Could it be the only way to save myself from dying in this shame/Is to run back to the one thing that scares me more than anything/Could it be...could it be that no matter what I do that I can't stop running from you/Apart from these thorns, I'm crimson stained and withering away... By any other name...I'd still put you through all of this pain...
even with the part added at the end it still doesnt seem to fit.
Perhaps there is some way you could connect the thought "by any other name..." to some other part of the song, that way atleast it would fit. But as part of the chorus it just doesnt sit very well, it is so....I dunno, i guess different from the rest of the chorus it just doesnt make sense.
Ok, well other then the things i said, i really liked the song. For those parts that belong together they are clear. It would be nice if you could find better ways to hold the song together other than just the title, and a phrase at the end of the chorus.
vs2 is really strong, and worded very nicely, and the bridge is really good.
One thing that does help the song out is that it does carry a common subject of sleep. And that makes the song stick together a little better.
so yeah, good song, just some minor things.
ttyl, and God bless.