Question:
I've completely rewritten the whole song.
Verse 1
The candle is burning low tonight
My resolve to end this is fading with the light
Blissfull in ingorance
Held here by acceptance
(musical interlude here)
The chance that lies will be told
Is great, but greater still is the chance I'll believe them all
And with such expectation comes responsibility
To never let you down, you mean so much to me
Chorus
So tonight
Lets pretened
That this is right
And we're avoiding the end
By staying here
Holding onto this
Held by our fear
That if we leave we won't be missed
Bridge
All the signs I can see
Are making very plain to me
This is not where I should be
And all along I should have known
That I'd end up alone
But this is the consequence for me
(repeat chorus)
Ending
The candle has burned out tonight
(repeat 4x with overlapping vocals and fade out)
Answer:
Originally Posted by Dirt_Jumper Verse 1
Buying gifts for you such a waste
(Such a waste of time)
you have everything
(You took everything of mine)
When I met you I thought you were
Everything I'd need
(but now I see)
That when you met me
I had everything
(everything you wanted) Not bad, but it seems much too generalized. Be more specific and give us more insight about your situation.
Chorus
So tonight lets pretend
We're going through the motions
To avoid the end
So tomorrow I'll remember to
Try to forget
That I'm trying to forget about you I really like the chorus, particularly the "remember to forget" lines.
Verse 2
Some regret and a little grudge
(is what I need to hold onto)
But I'm pathetically stuck in a romantic rut
(with nothing else to hold besides you)
Maybe this is motion sickness
(all this throwing up)
Cause I'm sick of all the back and forth and my excuses
(for not ending this now) This is better than the first verse, but I'm still not exactly sure what you're talking about without a more clarified idea.
Not a bad start at all, just build up your verses to support your chorus and you'll have a great song. Keep up the greating writing man.
Answer:
Yeah this is still the rough draft. I'll definently rework most of both the verses.
Answer:
I put up the new version of the song.