Question:
Verse1:
I Am Engaging In A War Everyday
This Isn't Just A Normal Fight
I Am Fighting In An Unseen World
Not A Visible And Physical World
Verse2:
Commanded To Engage The Enemy
Stand Firm With Your Full Armour
Fight Not Against Flesh And Blood
But Against Spiritual Forces Of Evil
Chorus:
I Am Raging In This Invisible War
I Need To Break Through This Wall
Not By Weapons Of The Flesh
But By Divine Power
I Will Overcome The World
Verse3:
He Is The Father Of Lies
He Is Formidable
Respect Our Foe
But Never Fear Him
Verse4:
He Is Invisible
But Not Invincible
He Has Been Defeated
And His Power Is Limited
Bridge:
Getting Ready For The Fight
Keep Your Belt Of Truth Tight
Your Breastplate Of Righteousness Light
By Shield Of Faith And Not By Sight
The Gospel Of Peace Is Always Right
Put On Helmet Of Salvation Without Fright
Use The Word Of God To Counter-Fight
And Charge The Enemies With All Your Might!
Answer:
anyone?
Answer:
Quick word of advice to start off: there's no need to capitalize every single word in a sentence. In fact, it makes it harder to read. That said, here's an RC.
Originally Posted by J.W4Christ Verse1:
I Am Engaging In A War Everyday
This Isn't Just A Normal Fight
I Am Fighting In An Unseen World
Not A Visible And Physical World This is a little too on-the-nose. By that I mean, you're simply telling us what's going on. It's the difference between Jesus saying, "everyone is your neighbour, so love everyone," and Jesus telling the parable of the good samaritan. Which one sticks in your head? So show us the war, show us the fight, show us that you're fighting in a spiritual realm.
Also, you have no rhyme scheme here beyone rhyming "world" with itself, which is generally frowned upon. Not that you need to rhyme, but if you are, try to avoid using the same word.
Verse2:
Commanded To Engage The Enemy
Stand Firm With Your Full Armour
Fight Not Against Flesh And Blood
But Against Spiritual Forces Of Evil Again, besides the reference to "full armour," you're still just telling us what's going on. Use some imagery, some metaphor. This is just too plain.
Chorus:
I Am Raging In This Invisible War
I Need To Break Through This Wall
Not By Weapons Of The Flesh
But By Divine Power
I Will Overcome The World Same critique. Keep in mind, the chorus is where you really want to catch people's attention, the part where something should stick out in the listener's mind. You need a hook. The last line, "I will overcome the world" has potential to be a hook, but it's not quite there yet. I actually like the "weapons of the flesh" line; there's potential for some imagery there.
Verse3:
He Is The Father Of Lies
He Is Formidable
Respect Our Foe
But Never Fear Him This is a little better; it's not quite as plainspoken and has some nice alliteration with "f" sounds. You've changed the structure from the first verse though. These two verses are a lot shorter...
Verse4:
He Is Invisible
But Not Invincible
He Has Been Defeated
And His Power Is Limited ...and now you've thrown in some rhyming. I think you need to commit one way or the other. Either have no rhyming in the verses or rhyme in all the verses. Otherwise it just seems choppy.
Bridge:
Getting Ready For The Fight
Keep Your Belt Of Truth Tight
Your Breastplate Of Righteousness Light
By Shield Of Faith And Not By Sight
The Gospel Of Peace Is Always Right
Put On Helmet Of Salvation Without Fright
Use The Word Of God To Counter-Fight
And Charge The Enemies With All Your Might! There's an overuse of "ight" rhymes here and a lot of them seem forced. You have barely rhymed throughout the rest of the song and now you're forcing it all into this one bridge!
Don't feel constricted to using only the one rhyme in this bridge as all it's doing is forcing you into some awkward phrasing. Vary it up a little.
On the whole, you need to work on your word choice and imagery. Show us what's going on. Right now you're trying to force the horse to drink: all you have to do is lead us to the water and we'll drink it. Try to bring in some metaphors and similes to this song. Delve deeper. And keep writing!