Question:
Hey what up? I didnt know where else to put this. I wanna put some of my songs down, and see if you guys would read them for me and tell me what you think i can do to improve..always room for improvement Thanks!
Tears of Joy
I'm stuck in a room
No where to go
I'm losing my mind
It's time for me to go
So I close my eyes
I begin to pray
Tears of joy are running down my face
I look up to the sky and I see your face
"Lord" I say "just have your way"
I can't take it much longer
I can't be the one in control of my life
Lord I bring it all to you, take my life
So I close my eyes
I begin to pray
Tears of joy are running down my face
Ok Lord i gave it all to you
Lead me and guide me
Cuz I'm walking by faith
So I close my eyes
I begin to pray
Yes Lord, tears of joy are running down my face
Devoted
I had occasionally said a prayer or two
But I was never really devoted to You
When times got rough You were the first one I'd run to
But once things got better I'd turn away from You
Life was always the same ruitine
Never really seemed anything was new for me
I was comfortable where I was
The thought of growing didnt appeal to me
You told me there was more to this life
All I had to do was become devoted to You
I sat and I cried maybe even laughed at time
I didnt really know what to do
All I knew was that I was devoted to You
Now my life has changed at last
You have forgotten about my past
The word of praise is on my lips
You chipped the burdens off my shoulders
What a relief it is to be devoted to You
Changes
Times go by, life goes on
The things you're so used to will change
You cecome accustomed to a certain ruitine
When changes come, you just wanna run
Main line:
Thats not what God has planned for you
Walk day by day accepting the changes that come
God is just guiding you, dont back down
Please dont back down
You lost someone close to you
The next person comes along
You feel like they're being replaced
You just want to fight and run away
"main line"
You look around to see whats next
You open the door and there it is, its not what you expected
You dont know what to do, where to run, who to call
You find yourself confused and lost
You decide its not worth fighting for
So you turn around to back down
"main line"
Come
Main line:
I've been here since the beginning
I've been knocking at the door
You keep slamming it in my face
Take that step of faith, I'm calling you to you
Come, leave everything behind and follow Me
It's been a long time since you actually said a prayer
My ears are open, so many things would change
If only you'd pray, I've been waiting
I'm calling out to you
Come, now is the time
Come, now is the time to follow Me
You lay there in your bed
Wondering why you can't look ahead
You're so stuck in your ways
I'm calling out to you
Come, now is the time
Just leave everything behind
Can't you see I am the King above all Kings
My specialty is rescuing
Cant you see
I've been here from the beginning, Come!
I'm calling you to you, take My hand and trust in Me
"main line"
Answer:
I'll send this over to the handy dandy Songwriting forum! There you'll find lots of songwriters. Feel free to comment on other people's songs as well.
Answer:
I took some time and looked over your lyrics.
The lines I made changes to are in bold.
Tears of Joy
I'm stuck in a room
No where to go
I'm losing my mind
It's time for me to go
So I close my eyes
I begin to pray
Tears of joy are running down my face
I look up to the sky and I see your face
"Lord" I say "just have your way"
I can't take it much longer
I can't control my life
Lord I give it all to you, take my life
So I close my eyes
I begin to pray
Tears of joy are running down my face
Ok Lord i gave it all to you
Lead me, guide me
Cuz I'm walking by faith
So I close my eyes
I begin to pray
Yes Lord, tears of joy are running down my face
Devoted
I've said a prayer or two
But was never really devoted to You
When times got rough, times got hard
You were their for me
once things got better, I'd walk away
Life was always the same ruitine
Never really seemed anything was new for me
I was comfortable where I was
The thought of growing didnt appeal to me
You told me there was more to this life
All I had to do was become devoted to You
I sat and cried maybe even laughed at times
Never really knowing what to do
But that I was devoted to You
life has changed
forgotten about my past
The words of praise on my lips
You lifted the burdens off me
Now I'm devoted to You, Yes Lord I'm devoted to You
Changes
Times go by, life goes on
things always seem to change
You cecome accustomed to a certain ruitine
When changes come, you just wanna run
Main line:
Thats not what God has planned for you
Walk day by day accepting the changes that come
God is just guiding you, dont back down
dont ever back down
You'll lost someone close to you
and another will comes along
It seems like they're being replaced
You just want to fight and run away
"main line"
You look around to see whats next
You open the door and find another problem
You dont know what to do, where to run, who to call
You find yourself confused and lost
You decide its not worth fighting for
So you turn around to back down
"main line"
Come
Main line:
I've been here since the beginning
I've been knocking at your door
You tell me to come back later
Take that step of faith, I'm calling you
Come, leave everything behind and follow Me
It's been a long time since you've prayed
My ears are open to you
If only you'd pray
I'm calling out to you
Come, now is the time
now is the time to follow Me
You lay there in your bed
Wondering whats next
You're stuck in your ways
I'm calling out to you
Come, now is the time
Just leave everything behind
Can't you see I'm the King of Kings, Lord of Lords
I come to lead all to the Father
Cant you see
I've been here from the beginning, Come!
I'm calling you to you, take My hand and walk with Me
Let me know what you think, my Email is Fade2Black16@aol.com