Question:
The pheonix of solitude withers me
As I see two souls now burning as one
Their happiness ignites more pain
Another round from this black, ugly gun
My greatest fear, my fallen angel
Is my book devoid of a life partner?
These are the ghosts that deprive me of sleep
These fears so deep, childlike I weep
{Pre-Chorus}
Screaming till my scream is no more
My history must have more in store
{Chorus}
Oh Venus, shall I never embrace you?
Is it lonely eternity I go to?
My constant search for Aphrodite
Has not been devoid of fruit
My eyes have caught short fleeting glimpses
Of a quick, beautiful, flighting foot
Now I'm watching her dancing round the flames
In this haven, beauty's unashamed
I peer through the branches, not in safety
It shall be a time till she dances with me
{Bridge/Breakdown/Interlude}
I don't request the fairest of maidens
Your grandest design is not what I need
All I want is the puzzle's missing piece
Of your infinite wisdom I'll take heed
Answer:
Sounds like you're trying too hard... too many metaphors jammed into a tiny song...
Answer:
Really, hmm. Well I think as long as it makes enough sense, it might be a little confusing or contradictory in the second verse.
Answer:
Originally Posted by conceived in fire Really, hmm. Well I think as long as it makes enough sense, it might be a little confusing or contradictory in the second verse.
again it's like you're trying too hard.. writing should come naturally...