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Interesting take on the nursery rhyme. As an initial critique, "The Ladybird said and soon regretted it" seems very awkward. That's about the only thing that jumped out at me. The rest is excellent. I'll have a bit more once I've listened to the recording.
EDIT: After listening to the recording, I'm sticking with my initial impression of "soon regretted it." It's just really awkward. That said, this is a gorgeous song with a lot of emotion behind it. The melody and your voice are very evocative and emotional. I love it.
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I don't know, I think the "regretted" line works. The music is way Sufjan Stevens. Still, I always enjoy when folks take old songs and nursery rhymes and rework them. What inspired the switch from "Ladybug" to "Ladybird?"
If you're happy with the music, go for it, but I say with best intentions that it comes across as very derivative of Sufjan. Part of it is the sparse use of banjo, and the harmonies sound ripped from the playbook that produced Illinois and Michigan. If the harmonies occurred in spurts and some dirtiness was added to the production (maybe some light, rattling percussion) it would come across as a Tom Waits type song.
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Originally Posted by Skeeter Interesting take on the nursery rhyme. As an initial critique, "The Ladybird said and soon regretted it" seems very awkward. That's about the only thing that jumped out at me. The rest is excellent. I'll have a bit more once I've listened to the recording.
EDIT: After listening to the recording, I'm sticking with my initial impression of "soon regretted it." It's just really awkward. That said, this is a gorgeous song with a lot of emotion behind it. The melody and your voice are very evocative and emotional. I love it. Yeah, I initially was going to change that line ("...soon regretted it"), but I sort of like how it juts out there slighty unexpectedly. I like it. Maybe I'll play around with some alternate wordings there just to see what happens.
Thanks.
Originally Posted by Jeffrey I don't know, I think the "regretted" line works. The music is way Sufjan Stevens. Still, I always enjoy when folks take old songs and nursery rhymes and rework them. What inspired the switch from "Ladybug" to "Ladybird?"
I think ladybird is what the Brits call ladybugs. The text I read was probably an older one, maybe a Brittish version. Additionally, I like the way ladybird sounds better.
If you're happy with the music, go for it, but I say with best intentions that it comes across as very derivative of Sufjan. Part of it is the sparse use of banjo, and the harmonies sound ripped from the playbook that produced Illinois and Michigan. If the harmonies occurred in spurts and some dirtiness was added to the production (maybe some light, rattling percussion) it would come across as a Tom Waits type song.
Yeah, I can see the Sufjan elements now. I didn't particularly intend that. Maybe I'll work the banjo out of it. I sort of just grab the instruments I have around me when I'm writing or recording something, and the banjo wasn't something I was really sold on as much as it was just a second instrument. I should probably move my banjo a couple of feet farther away. Perhaps some piano would change things up a bit.
As for percussion, I don't really have much to work with right now. My friend might have some stuff I could use. We are talking a bit about rattlesnake sounding percussive elements. I don't know if that's what you have in mind. That might sound sort of cool in this.
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If Banjo=Sufjan, maybe. I really don't see it. Of anyone that I'd compare this to...it'd probably be Iron & Wine.
Great stuff, enjoy the low-fi recording too.
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Originally Posted by Athanasius If Banjo=Sufjan, maybe. I really don't see it. Of anyone that I'd compare this to...it'd probably be Iron & Wine.
Great stuff, enjoy the low-fi recording too. As I just told you, I did have Iron & Wine in mind while writing the music. Especially after I wrote the the little harmonies in the verses. That makes me think of Iron & Wine.
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I didn't like the lyrics that much when I first read them, but the recording is really good. Nice song.
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Originally Posted by Napoleon17 I didn't like the lyrics that much when I first read them, but the recording is really good. Nice song. Thanks.
What don't you like about the lyrics, specifically?
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I agree with Dan about the "regretted it" part seeming a little awkward, but over all the song was good.
I especially liked the music. It was very soothing.
Also your voice quality in the song was really good. I don't know if that is usually how you sing, or if you changed it to fit the song, but it's very good.
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Originally Posted by luvinjesus I agree with Dan about the "regretted it" part seeming a little awkward, but over all the song was good.
I especially liked the music. It was very soothing.
Also your voice quality in the song was really good. I don't know if that is usually how you sing, or if you changed it to fit the song, but it's very good. Thanks.
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Originally Posted by benj Thanks.
What don't you like about the lyrics, specifically?
Well I like them now that I've heard them. But when I first read them they seemed like they would be very awkward to sing... it didn't seem like the song had much flow to it, just from reading the lyrics.
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Originally Posted by Napoleon17 Well I like them now that I've heard them. But when I first read them they seemed like they would be very awkward to sing... it didn't seem like the song had much flow to it, just from reading the lyrics. Ah, I follow you.
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****ing incredible song.
That's all I have to say.
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It might be nice to have a bit of an instrumental (w/ BGV?) postlude at the end instead of dropping off so suddenly.
p.s. I got the CD with your songs on it from Red Mountain Church for Christmas, by the way. Great stuff, there.
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Originally Posted by Nate ****ing incredible song.
That's all I have to say. Haha, wow. Thanks. My goal is always to cause Nate to spew cussbombs.