Question:
I am going to put music to this eventually, but here's a little something:
Jealous For Your Touch
There's a rustling in the willows,
Could it be my Love?
The moon is staring cold and jealous,
Jealous for Your touch.
Autumn leaves are dead and fickle
Like my weathered heart;
They dance wildly without rhythm
Even in this dark.
Thunderclouds roll on unhindered
Blackening the sky;
Rain falls, still the grasses wither
In this restless night.
Branches crack, and my heart with them,
In this awful gale;
The earth shakes, a rift is opened
Clear across this vale.
The trees are stilled, the darkness shivers,
I am left unharmed;
I can feel the winds are different,
Softer and more warm.
Daylight breaks, and my heart with it
Rises with the sun;
I'm left standing cold and jealous,
Jealous for Your touch.
Tear it up.
In His love,
Nate
Answer:
Imagry is great, pretty deep underlying meanings.
I think you could put this to any style music and it would mesh pretty well.
Later
-d
Answer:
Originally Posted by walkwjc Imagry is great, pretty deep underlying meanings.
Thanks. The "deep underlying meanings" was something that I wasn't really going for until about the time that I started writing the fourth stanza and realized that it would work really well; I re-wrote the previous stanzas a bit to make them fit better with that theme.
As an aside, it's probably going to take me quite some time to come up with a creative musical setting for this. I took the metre and rhyme scheme directly from Pierce Pettis' "Shady Grove" off his new album, "Great Big World"... and I don't want to just copy the music too.
In His love,
Nate
Answer:
That is something I struggle with also. I will write all original words rythme ect, put it to music and my wife tells me: that sounds just like...
God be with you
-d
Answer:
Originally Posted by walkwjc That is something I struggle with also. I will write all original words rythme ect, put it to music and my wife tells me: that sounds just like...
Hehe. I know what you mean... except I don't have a wife.
Answer:
I'd love some more critiques/responses.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Nate The trees are stilled, the darkness shivers,
I am left unharmed;
I can feel the winds are different,
Softer and more warm. Rhyming "unharmed" with "warm" sounded a bit akward, but that could just be me. Besides that I really liked it. The rhyme scheme is good and you have some fantastic imagery in the song, great job man.