Question:
Okay here goes nothing. My boyfriend and I have been attending church and our singles group and are trying to figure out how to do everything the right way. This is a new thing for both of us and im not sure how i should help him with this new situation. He has a lot of family problems and attempted suicide has been involved along with some other things. my boyfriend just bottles it all up inside. And one day he will just snap/ and feels that i have no idea what he is going thru because I was raised in a well to do family . We were talking and he wants to know how he should handle the situation "the right way". and Im not sure what to tell him. how he should get out his frustrations and how to help him help himself. If anyone one has any advice on how a Christian should handle this or how I could help him. I would really appreciate it.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Maria05 Okay here goes nothing. My boyfriend and I have been attending church and our singles group and are trying to figure out how to do everything the right way. This is a new thing for both of us and im not sure how i should help him with this new situation. He has a lot of family problems and attempted suicide has been involved along with some other things. my boyfriend just bottles it all up inside. And one day he will just snap/ and feels that i have no idea what he is going thru because I was raised in a well to do family . We were talking and he wants to know how he should handle the situation "the right way". and Im not sure what to tell him. how he should get out his frustrations and how to help him help himself. If anyone one has any advice on how a Christian should handle this or how I could help him. I would really appreciate it.
As someone who was kinda like your boyfriend at one point, Id say a big thing is making sure he is free to talk before things get so bad. For me, the issue was twofold. I needed to be tough enough and badass enough to handle anything in my own eyes. (a value definitely instilled by my family) The other thing is trust. I had nobody I could trust who hadn't left, died, or stabbed me in the back. Hence, the issue was that it took, and takes time to develop a trust enough to tell anyone that stuff was rough, that I felt like crap and was depressed. Most people drop you when you have problems, especially Christians. So try to be there for him. Let him vent and don't try to solve the problems. Sometimes, just listening is the biggest thing.
A big thing in all this is to let him feel masculine the whole time. Our society's image of a man is like John Wayne in a lot of ways still. Just tough and rough and ready to handle anything, and never shirk from anything and stay calm. Its crap.
Answer:
ya I think I did a really bad thing and I didnt mean to.
he didnt want me to tell anyone about it. Which was understandable. But this is all new for me and I was kinda scared and my mom came home and asked me what was wrong and I couldnt lie to her so i talked to her about it. and he found out. he didnt really seem to mad or anything. He knows my parents love him and everything it just embarasses him. Especailly around my family because like i said I grew up pretty well off compaired to him. But my parents dont look down on him. He has come sooo far and amazes me so much because of the junk he went thru growing up.