Question:
I have another question....
About a year ago, some pretty bad stuff happened at my Christian high school. In that situation, as a school leader, I was in the position to confront our administrator on some issues, and that caused him to be quite angry with me. He did some things that hurt me (emotionally) and since then I have been so angry and resentful towards him. The Executive Counsel advisor (and my mentor), as well as the Dean of students assure me that I went about the situation correctly and respectfully. They encouraged and supported my actions. However, the majority of students at my former school (I have since graduated) all adore the man. They speak very highly of him, and those who know that I dislike him are upset and often angry at me for not supporting his actions. Most of them do not know what/who he really is, so I know that they are speaking in ignorance, but every time that I am reminded of the circumstance, I get SO angry and upset. He still treats me poorly when I see him. This situation has made me question so many things about Christianity and my general worldview that,even though most just blow it off, it was very monumental in my life. I don't know how to make that stop. I am still good friends with so many people who speak well of him, even though I have been out of that school for a year. My mom knows most of the situation, and supports me. She knows that I handled it as best as I could, but she always defends him, or tried to minimize his offenses to me. She doesn't know explicitly that I havn't forgiven him, although from some things that I said she has guessed that. I know she's trying to help the situation, buther and my friends defending him (although I know my mom agrees with me) still makes it seem like they don't care that he hurt me and that I don't really matter. In my head I know that that's an emotional way to read into a situation, and I am generally quite good at avoiding emotional readings, but in this case, I cannot help but feel that way.
So, my question:
Has anyone had a situation that has made them so angry, and somehow overcome it, even though the person who wronged them will never be repentant, and sees their actions as justified?
Answer:
Try living in a terrorist war zone all your life. (I'm in Northern Ireland)
forgiveness is nothing to do with the perpetrator of the wrong. It is ALL the victim. You forgive them, whether they accept the forgiveness or change their attitude means nothing. All that matters is that YOU forgive.
I have had family members shot and blown up in car bombs, bcause they were in the security forces.
I KNOW that the perpetrators would do it again given the chance.
that does not affect the fact that I must FORGIVE regardless of their attitude.....
Answer:
I know that I must forgive, and I know that people like yourself have MUCH more intense situations you must forgive people for, but that was not my question...
I wanted to know HOW to do so. I'm sure there's not set formula, but any advice would be appreciated.
Answer:
Romans 12:19
Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"says the Lord.
If you try to "forgive" someone just by letting whatever they did slide, your heart will still cry out for justice. You need to recognize your inability to bring right to the situation and release your anger to God who will bring justice to all things. It's not like a spiteful "Haha, God will get you!" kind of attitude, but just resting in His justice should allow you to move on from it and be more concerned with living your own life as you ought. This especially applies in situations were it's not so much a single action they did but a character problem that continually comes up.
Answer:
The bible also states that to be forgiven you must also forgive.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Mediocre1
So, my question:
Has anyone had a situation that has made them so angry, and somehow overcome it, even though the person who wronged them will never be repentant, and sees their actions as justified? The only way to solve this situation is let go of the anger and treat him with kindness and love even if he treats you badly. Don't let him be a representative of Christ to you if he is not acting out of love. Remember sometimes even Christians fall and aren't perfect, but if he doesn't stop then tell him and that he is not being a good representative of Christ, but do it gently and not out of anger. Treat him the way you want to be treated and tell him that if you have to.
God Bless!
Answer:
when you have to see the person again it is hard to forgive........believe me. i was raped multiple times by the same guy and i had to forgive him, even though i saw him in between the incidents. go to God, lay you hurt and anger at his feet. read Psalms, and try to love the person for the reason that God does, because you probably can't love and forgive this person on your own. that's what i had to do. because God loves all of his creation, i had to realize that i could love him with God's love and not my own. i hope i've made sense and that this helps. i'll be praying for you.
love in Him,
jacqui