Question:
this is not about me its about a friend:
i will start from the begining:
i have known this girl for a while..she used to be homeschooled and we used to talk at homeschooled events etc. then came the day she stopped going to those events. i saw here at a non-homeschooler event [that everyone was invited to, public, and privet] and i asked her why she was never at the homeschooled events and she told me she was public schooled now. around a year passed and we didnt talk much...then she got a AIM screen name we talk alot.
anyhow, lately things have been going DOWNHILL for her...she hasnt been able to get a boyfriend due to her more attractive friends [she is under ALOT of pressure to get a boyfriend..i know nothing of why, except it is a publicschooler thing]. she was really depressed about that and cut herself a dew times. i kept telling her to stop...i told her to seek the face of the Lord..spend time praying....she said 'it doesnt work'. i think she it back sliding from the faith but i do not know this. anyhow, just tonight she said she was very depressed and she eat until she threw up...and she plans to continue this...
she does not have a will to live. she stated to me 'i dont care if i die!'. shes only 14 or 15. i tell her to press on through stuff shes facin but its too hard for her. she said people walk up to her in school and say 'you fat *imply word here*...loose some weight!!" etc.
does anyone know how i can help her? ive been trying to help her to seek God's face but thats not working for me..she claims "i try but it just doesnt work!". help?
-John
Answer:
Being a 14/15 year old (girl particularly) is an awkward and difficult time. She's in a new place and going through alot of phyisical/hormonal changes. I'd say some good, solid time with a Godly, secure woman from her church would do her a world of good. Someone who can relate to her and advice her would help her alot. Also, if she's hurting herself and saying things like "I don't care if I die", then you need to be more concerned with her overall well-being and tell her parents. Even if she gets angry and claims to hate you for it, in the long run, she'll be appreciative. She needs help and if you're the only one that knows what she's doing, then you need to be the one to say something.
Answer:
Originally Posted by ChrisHarbison Being a 14/15 year old (girl particularly) is an awkward and difficult time. She's in a new place and going through alot of phyisical/hormonal changes. I'd say some good, solid time with a Godly, secure woman from her church would do her a world of good. Someone who can relate to her and advice her would help her alot.
i will let some of her church friends know to be on the alert for advising her etc...thank you very much for this advice
Also, if she's hurting herself and saying things like "I don't care if I die", then you need to be more concerned with her overall well-being and tell her parents.
thats part of the problem..her parents are seperated/sperating..she used to live with her grandmother but i dont know if she does now. she was once very sad because her parents were taking out their anger on her..and she said her mom often said she was fat and needed to loose weight [she really isnt fat btw].
Even if she gets angry and claims to hate you for it, in the long run, she'll be appreciative. She needs help and if you're the only one that knows what she's doing, then you need to be the one to say something.
i dont think she would ever hate me...i forever encorage her to get help from pastors of her church, or from God himself but she does not want alot of people knowing how she feels...she tells me all of it over AIM because im a trusty never-tells-any-one kinda a guy but maybe i should warn the people who are close to her....thanks
-chesta
Answer:
Originally Posted by jjvacc i will let some of her church friends know to be on the alert for advising her etc...thank you very much for this advice Not her church friends, an older woman in the church (like the youth pastor's wife or the pastor's wife). Another 14 year old girl cannot possibly relate to and give her the proper instruction and advice that she needs.
Originally Posted by jjvacc thats part of the problem..her parents are seperated/sperating..she used to live with her grandmother but i dont know if she does now. she was once very sad because her parents were taking out their anger on her..and she said her mom often said she was fat and needed to loose weight [she really isnt fat btw]. Oh man, that's rough. Maybe she needs to get away from all of it completely. Maybe go to another relatives to live or back with her grandparents and just get away from the separation?
Originally Posted by jjvacc i dont think she would ever hate me...i forever encorage her to get help from pastors of her church, or from God himself but she does not want alot of people knowing how she feels...she tells me all of it over AIM because im a trusty never-tells-any-one kinda a guy but maybe i should warn the people who are close to her....thanks You should warn someone that can help her and only those people. Again, like a leader/elder/deacon/pastor at your church or even better, one of their wives; I strongly discourage telling her friends anything.