Question:
I'm an ex-cutter ... as in, it used to be pretty bad but now it's not really much of an issue for me. My problem is that I've got some scars from it on my arms especially. They are already about a year old, and yeah, I've tried various things to get them to fade, seen a dermatologist even, but they are still there.
So I was just wondering how to deal with this and wearing short-sleeves..I mean, I'm sure that the questions will still be there, but how do you think I should handle it? I'm not psycho or anything and basically I don't want to scare people off since most have gross misconceptions about what "cutters" are.
Answer:
aside from seeing a dermatologist (which you have) or using some sort of makeup there's not a lot I could suggest. Makeup, however would tend to limit your physical movement lest it wipe off on your shirt or other people.
Answer:
disregard if you want to but if you've tried to get them to fade and they havent maybe in a sense they'll become a springboard of sorts to help others in that situation. kind of the "oh they've been there and come through it" sort of thing. just an alternate way to think about it. like i said disregard if you want...
Answer:
Originally Posted by adviceseeker I'm an ex-cutter ... as in, it used to be pretty bad but now it's not really much of an issue for me. My problem is that I've got some scars from it on my arms especially. They are already about a year old, and yeah, I've tried various things to get them to fade, seen a dermatologist even, but they are still there. First off, congratulations on being an ex-cutter. I know for my own scars that after a year and a half they are still very much there and present. However ones that are 3, 4 ,5 years old are fading. Now if they are raised scars, then you'll probably have them for the rest of your life. Flat scars will fade away. I'm very fair skinned so my scars are all white. My skin burns easily so I have to be really careful when I do this, but I've found that limited tanning/burning over the years has helped to decrease the visibility of the scars. I'm sure you know this, but vitamin E and aloe both help your skin to heal and I know vitamin E does decrease scarring. Honestly the only sure fire way to get rid of them would be plastic surgery.
Originally Posted by adviceseeker So I was just wondering how to deal with this and wearing short-sleeves..I mean, I'm sure that the questions will still be there, but how do you think I should handle it? I'm not psycho or anything and basically I don't want to scare people off since most have gross misconceptions about what "cutters" are. I guess I would reply with questions of my own. How open are you willing to be? How much of your life history do you want people to know? I can wear short-sleeves and not have looks or questions, it's when I wear a tank-top or something sleeveless that you see the "bad" scars which bring up questions. I made a decision years ago that if my past and my pain and what i've been through could help even one person out then I'm not going to be ashamed of what God has led me out of. I'm not going to flaunt it, however I'm not going to only wear long sleeves. If it's warm out then I'll wear a sleeveless top. However if there will be kids under the age of 12 around, I'll make sure that i've wearing at least a short sleeve or else have a blouse or jacket to throw on. I don't want them to get an idea that because one of the older girls and worship leaders at church did that that that makes it okay.
Depending on the person and the situation, my answers vary when asked about my scars, and yes, I do get asked. With some people it's one of those, well I used to be a cutter and I leave it at that. Others need a more detailed explanation of what cutting is and what my frame of mind on it used to be. Note that the only people who get explanations are people that I'm in some sort of friendship with. Random people who ask me don't get an answer unless I feel a specific prompting from God to share. I have found though that my testimony even though I'm still walking it through has helped others, specifically girls, who have struggled with self-image, self-worth, and their own demons from the past. For that I thank God that HE can use my fragmaneted self to bring hope to others and glory to His name.
There are times when I'm not comfortable with my scars so I wear long sleeves. But as I continue to see healing in my own life and from the past, I am less and less shamed by this reminder of what I used to do to survive. Your scars are a testimony of resilience and determination. I don't know your history and you don't need to post it. I do know that you had a good reason or two or three for using that coping method.
Anyways, this is getting to be a very long reply. I don't know if any of it helped at all, but you can email me katieplus@gmail.com if you want to talk about it off the boards. I will respect your privacy and as you can see in my sig, I'm not really around anymore. I was browsing and saw this thread and wanted to reply.
One note on the make-up thing. You can get a green stick cover-up that works well for scars. I know Revlon makes a good one. Find one that is hypo-allergenic if you can because scar tissue can react differently to makeup than your regular skin does. However if you have a lot of scars, you might need to find a foundation that is from a green base (a makeup artist at the Bay or Sears could reccommend a product for you). Green base is the way to go for this because it covers redness well and I've found that then it doesn't look like I'm wearing make-up on my arms (which can lead to even more explanations.)
Whatever you decide to do, remember that there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.
Katie
Answer:
I do not know that you would scare many people off, in my humble opinion. I would be encouraged to see someone with only scars from past pain. Now you have overcome it. *encouraging smile*
For the physical side of this, which you may very well have already tried:
I just recently started researching scar fading myself. Two ideas I am trying are vitamin E oil and massaging the skin. I know a lady that has had superb success with making her scars disappear by manipulating the skin once or twice daily and keeping up the massage for a couple months. She had surgery so her scars were probably deeper than most cutting marks, possibly not though. Then rub vitamin E oil into the scar after massaging it. I try to do this twice a day but it becomes a little monotonous. :smallsmile: But I have heard rave reports about it being beneficial.
Good luck and congrats on being an ex. :)