Question:
My girlfriend and I broke up two weeks ago, after six and a half months of dating. We weren't hugely serious; we hadn't kissed, we weren't inimate (whatever that's supposed to mean). We simply loved being together and enjoying each other's company.
We broke up over issues of faith. We weren't exactly on the same page, spiritually, due mostly to our much different backgrounds. Not that we believed differently...we're just at different places in our walk. So it wasn't as if we fought or some other type of breakup. We just felt that, because we were on different pages, it would not be good to be so close.
Two weeks later, I've seen her three or four times and not even made eye contact with her. Mostly just because it hurts. I thought, before I saw her, that it would be easier to see her and talk to her, but it really is much, much harder. I want to talk to her so badly, not because I'm still clinging to the relationship, but because I still care about her and want to know how she's doing. It's my wish to, as the title would suggest, still be awesome friends, even after our breakup. Well, it's not working out too well, obviously. And even though we're not on the same page, it's my desire to continue to encourage her in her faith and in her life, just as much as I did before.
My first question, is it dangerous to still want to encourage her as I did before? Personally, I can't see any, because I have no reason not to act as if I'm still her friend. And if I can encourage my other friends in the same thing, why not with her? Thoughts?
I actually don't have a second question. It's more of a request. I don't know how to approach her in order to "break the ice." I think I can do it up until I see her, and then I lose all heart. It hurts too much to talk to her, I think. But I need to, and I want to. I just don't know how. So any suggestions/prayer/advice I could get would be great.
Answer:
I'll be praying. For advice, my last girlfriend and I broke up for very simliar reasons. Right now, it's hard to talk to her because she gets angered easily, and I think she kinda gave me lee way for my joking around. (I can kinda be a jerk, but it's in friendly terms, and anyone who knows me gets it.) But, I found the best thing to do, is for awhile, just keep distance. Let each other calm down emotionally.
Answer:
I have a similar situation here. Give it some time and don't push it.
We just talk about "normal friend things" and don't even mention the break up. It's not worth talking about.
Answer:
My little brother is in the exact same situation. How ironic...
Originally Posted by unneccessary My first question, is it dangerous to still want to encourage her as I did before? Personally, I can't see any, because I have no reason not to act as if I'm still her friend. And if I can encourage my other friends in the same thing, why not with her? Thoughts? I think you can encourage her indirectly, i.e., if you happen to attend a Bible study together, share an insight with the group, and hence, her as well, thereby encouraging her, albeit indirectly. Wow that was a crazy sentence
I actually don't have a second question. It's more of a request. I don't know how to approach her in order to "break the ice." Just smile and say "Hi", or smile and wave, or write her a letter/email (although she'd probably like a letter better - ha that rhymed!).
Answer:
You guys must've done some praying, or at least God answered mine. Last night, at our bible study, we took and walk and were able to talk. Things went better than I had wished. It wasn't pushed, because we both felt like we needed to talk to one another. And we were able to talk about the breakup, which was good. We both felt like we needed to talk about it. It wasn't too difficult talking about it either, which I think is a good sign.
Thank you all for commenting and praying. I'm grateful.