Question:
hey everyone,
i've got a couple of really close friends of mine who are going through a hard time. (i'm a 20-yr old guy, they are 20 and 19 yr. old sisters) anyway, here's the situation. they come from a very loving family, close-knit, so much so that it almost seemed a "perfect" family. this past fall, they both went away to college for the first time, to a Bible college around 14 hrs. away from home. during this year, their parents got a bad case of "empty nest syndrome" or whatever you want to call it, and issues came up in their marriage that had been ignored for years. now the sisters have come home from college for the summer, just in time for their parents to officially separate. they have not divorced (yet), and my parents and some others are trying to help save their marriage. meanwhile, the girls are at home with their dad, and their mom is somewhere else far away. as you can imagine, it's very hard on them. as i have never been through a situation like this, it's hard for me to know how to encourage them. they seem pretty depressed about it, and i'm sure i would be too. they are really close friends as i mentioned before, and it breaks my heart to see them like this. but i don't know what to say, or how, or when for that matter. can you maybe give me some advice on how i can best encourage them. maybe some of you who have had separated or divorced parents can speak out on this too. thanks a lot guys, i hope you were able to follow the situation.
Answer:
Nothing is really encouraging at a time like that. Just be friends with them in the way you normally would. Don't press the issue, and certainly don't try to tell them that things will be alright. If they want to talk about it, they will, then you can simply listen to what they have to say.
In His love,
Nate
Answer:
Originally Posted by Nate Nothing is really encouraging at a time like that. Just be friends with them in the way you normally would. Don't press the issue, and certainly don't try to tell them that things will be alright. If they want to talk about it, they will, then you can simply listen to what they have to say.
In His love,
Nate
Thanks for the advice, it sounds solid, and very simple.
Do you think there is anything that I can DO for them besides listen though? If not, I can accept that, I'm just wondering.
Answer:
Something to get them out of the house (i.e., spend a day at the park / mall / beach / etc, have a bbq at your house, go to a bunch of movies, etc) might be a good thing.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Nate Something to get them out of the house (i.e., spend a day at the park / mall / beach / etc, have a bbq at your house, go to a bunch of movies, etc) might be a good thing.
Those are good ideas. Thanks again.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Matt4JC Do you think there is anything that I can DO for them besides listen though? If not, I can accept that, I'm just wondering. As Nate said, something to get them out of the house. When the going gets rough, it's not necessarily a good idea to tackle the problem then and there. They need time to figure it out, but what they need even more is time to cope before they try to "figure it out." Your job is to be a good friend to them and take their mind off of things until they feel they are comfortable with figuring things out. A cool-off and regroup period, if you will.
Personally, though, I'd play foosball with them if I were you. Because I am the worse foosball player in the world- and when you spank someone at foosball, it just makes it all better because, hey, who doesn't get a laugh out of seeing me scream and jump up and down to lessen the pain of losing to a girl?
Answer:
Originally Posted by H.M. Murdock As Nate said, something to get them out of the house. When the going gets rough, it's not necessarily a good idea to tackle the problem then and there. They need time to figure it out, but what they need even more is time to cope before they try to "figure it out." Your job is to be a good friend to them and take their mind off of things until they feel they are comfortable with figuring things out. A cool-off and regroup period, if you will.
Personally, though, I'd play foosball with them if I were you. Because I am the worse foosball player in the world- and when you spank someone at foosball, it just makes it all better because, hey, who doesn't get a laugh out of seeing me scream and jump up and down to lessen the pain of losing to a girl?
haha, unfortunetly, i'm pretty good at foosball..