Question:
Hello everybody. I needed some advice for an x girlfriend of mine. I broke up with her because we needed time apart, to get ourselves back together. I still love her and, she decided to turn on me and go out with someone else. Since she took this the wrong way, she started acting different. She started drinking and smoking and having oral sex with her new boyfriend. I dont know how to confront her with this, considering i dont want to confront her at all, i feel that i have to, to help her. I want to know what i should do from you guys, and if you can, pray for her. thank you.
Answer:
I think if you try to address her on these issues, it will just come across as you being jealous and she won't pay any attention anyway. Maybe you could try talking to some of her girlfriends who are closer to the Lord and see if they would talk to her or something. Because coming from you, I don't think it's going to do much. She is probably still hurting that you wanted to step back from your relationship (even though you meant it to be a good thing between you) and won't listen to anything you have to say. Just my .02.
Answer:
Originally Posted by goingforchrist Hello everybody. I needed some advice for an x girlfriend of mine. I broke up with her because we needed time apart, to get ourselves back together. I still love her and, she decided to turn on me and go out with someone else. Since she took this the wrong way, she started acting different. She started drinking and smoking and having oral sex with her new boyfriend. I dont know how to confront her with this, considering i dont want to confront her at all, i feel that i have to, to help her. I want to know what i should do from you guys, and if you can, pray for her. thank you.
A few thoughts.
How much of this is jealousy?
How much of this is assumed?
Basically, breaking up for time to get back together is not a good reason. Chances are, you blew her trust then and there. Thus this will look like a smear campaign or a guilt trip to get her back which will drive her further away.
Answer:
None of this is jealousy or accused. i stand by god with this truth about her. Another problem is that I feel like its my fault, like I changed her. Now with this going on like this every day that passes feels like im swallowing a knife. I feel like its my fault because i could have taken another route to this beside ending the relationship for a while. I could of told her to slow down for a bit. But now im just in confusion.
Answer:
How did she turn on you by going out with someone else after you broke up with her?
In any event, it doesn't seem like it would be appropriate for you to confront her on this issue. Pray for her, live your life in such a way that you will be an example, but don't condemn her.
I would also find it very hard to imagine that "none" of this is jealousy. You specifically said that she "turned on you."
Start by viewing her as an equal: as a fallen human being that screws up.
Answer:
Originally Posted by goingforchrist None of this is jealousy or accused. i stand by god with this truth about her. Another problem is that I feel like its my fault, like I changed her. Now with this going on like this every day that passes feels like im swallowing a knife. I feel like its my fault because i could have taken another route to this beside ending the relationship for a while. I could of told her to slow down for a bit. But now im just in confusion.
Im going to be blunt in this question. Has she told you she is doing this with her boyfriend? If not, you could be wrong. Smoking, meh, nothing. Drinking can be a problem.
Chances are, you hurt her by dumping her. Thus you will see her as out to get her. While she meanwhile will view you as out to get her because you have hurt her in the past.