Question:
my friend Mandy has a problem...she is constantly hurting herself, cuting herself.......I made her promise me she would never do it again...every one confronted about and well it looked good...she accepted God as a part of her life and she was happy.....but now it's worse than ever! I'm always there to talk to her but I think she my not last much longer.......Her mom got her a therapist and we all pray for her often, but sometimes i think it's not enough...what should i do? please i need advice..
Answer:
I've had a couple friends who are Christians who also went through this struggle. This is certainly something that cannot be changed just by making a promise they will stop, it's an addiction and a sick survival technique they have used to get them through the tough stuff. Neither you or I can understand it completely because we have never experienced this ourselves but I know it is a very powerful stronghold. It is good if she is getting help from a therapist, this is a good start for her but she this is not something that she will overcome overnight. My best advice to you is to pray for her first of all, pray for her daily and secondly be an outlet for her to talk her problems out with. If she knows she has you as an outlet she may go to you rather than the cutting in time, just make sure she knows you are there for her and especially for that reason, ask her to call you anytime she gets the urge to cut and you will talk it out with her.
In most cases a cutter is not cutting to kill themselves just as an outlet for their pain, this is their release kind of like crying or screaming may be for someone else. Your friend does need professional help to get through this, as well as the Lord. If she does not know Christ find an opportunity to share with her. If she does know Christ remind her how precious she is to the Lord, remind her of the price he payed for ALL her sin and she does not have to pay for it herself. Let us know how she is doing!
Answer:
Delaina gave very good advice. It will deffinatlly take time. There are very few who go cold turkey and make it the first, second, 3rd, or even 5th time. If she wants to try to quit, then help her by being excited every time she makes it even a day without hurting herself... get even more excited every time it's been a week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks, if it's a month be estatic. Every mile stone she passes in trying to quit, she needs people to afirm her. It's going to be a fight, and she likely will need to know that you understand that. Always being there when she needs someone to talk to helps alot of people like Delaina suggested. Letting her know how much you care about her is always a good start.
Answer:
i'm very much inclined to agree with what else has been psoted. think 'laina said pretty much everything that i would have said. jsut want to restress the point that sometimes even a promise made isnt going to be enough to prevent her from cutting or the like. if/when that happens what else has been stated because all the mroe true. being a listening ear when needed, sometimes pointing out truths that can be so easily overlooked, those sort of thing.
Answer:
Originally Posted by LiveLife4Christ my friend Mandy has a problem...she is constantly hurting herself, cuting herself.......I made her promise me she would never do it again... I've "promised" people that I would quit smoking... but I had no intentions of doing so.
So why would I "promise" to quit smoking? So people would quit harrassing me about it.
In other words, your friend has to have the desire to quit before she will be able to quit. She can make all the promises in the world, but that doesn't mean anything if it's not an honest promise.
I think the therapist is a good step in the right direction... just be there for her and talk to her. If it were me that was cutting, I wouldn't want anyone bringing it up to me. However, everyone is different, and you know your friend better than any of us do... so bring it up only if you honestly think it would help her out.
Answer:
I kinda agree with SIlverNitrate. People can say what they want, but unless they actually mean it, it's useless.
I'm not proud of this, but I actually used to be in a similar situation. Wanting to kill myself. But this was before I was a Christian. Once I experienced Jesus, I made up my mind right then that my whole life would be dedicated to Him. Your friend can get all the professional help that money can buy, and it may help them, but no ammount of money can do the job as well as Christ. And there's no way to force your friend to experience Christ. I don't just mean get them to pray for salvation or even just go to church, but some really high energy youth event, or something to get them to feel the Holy Spirit.
I duno, they might not want to go, but I'm just sayin what helped me. Worth a shot though. God bless. I'll be praying for you both.
Answer:
thanks this advice will really help. God bless
Answer:
Originally Posted by Newfiebrad I kinda agree with SIlverNitrate. People can say what they want, but unless they actually mean it, it's useless.
I'm not proud of this, but I actually used to be in a similar situation. Wanting to kill myself. But this was before I was a Christian. Once I experienced Jesus, I made up my mind right then that my whole life would be dedicated to Him. Your friend can get all the professional help that money can buy, and it may help them, but no ammount of money can do the job as well as Christ. And there's no way to force your friend to experience Christ. I don't just mean get them to pray for salvation or even just go to church, but some really high energy youth event, or something to get them to feel the Holy Spirit.
I duno, they might not want to go, but I'm just sayin what helped me. Worth a shot though. God bless. I'll be praying for you both.
Just a warning, I was suicidal while an authentic Christian, as was Elijah the prophet. There are several cases in scripture of godly men who were suicidal. Now, I am not condoning this, but I thought it merited a reply that good and godly people struggle with cutting, deppression and suicidal thoughts.