Question:
Hi,
Not sure if I have posted this in the right place so mod's please move if necessary!
My situation is that I have never met my biological father and have never really had a desire to except over the last few years. God blessed me with a great dad who has been with me since i was born practically.
Just wondering if any of you have been in a situation where you've contacted a biological parent... How did you go about it? I can get hold of him pretty easily is just a matter of how to say hi...if you know what I mean....Also how do you do it in such a way that you don't offend your adoptive parent?
Cheers
Answer:
As adoptive parents, my wife and I try to keep contact with biological parents; just to know where they are, so when and if the time comes we can help our children contact their biological parents. The parents know we do this, and also know we will not force a meeting but will help when the children are old enough, if they wish to meet. We also have two adult children that were given up for adoption; my wife had two children at a very young age. Both boys have contacted my wife and in fact live in our town now. It’s been a blessing to see them and we never try to discount their adopted parents, in fact we refer to them as their parents. I guess a couple questions are in order, how old are you? And have you spoken to your parents about the possibility of meeting your biological dad? Are there issues your mother may have concern about? And are you prepared for the possibility that your Bio father may not want to see you? When we met the boys it was very emotional scary and exciting. We tried to make it in place they felt safe and didn’t ask too many questions but did a lot of answering. If you really want to meet him sometimes a simple phone call is a very good and safe way to start. From there things can progress if you doth want and if not it’s easy to leave it at that..
Peace
Answer:
I have a simualr situation with my bio dad. I have no interest now or ever to visit him except when I was a teen. John my husband on the other hand has just reuntied with his bio dad and they enjoy each others company. But he knew his dad growing up until he vwas in 8th grade.
My advie is to talk with your family and ask questions as to why you haven't seen him before. There may be a reason, like in my situation ,my father is a pshcopath and obcessed with my older sister who isn't his child.
and most of all pray about. I wish you good luck with it.
Answer:
Hey...
Sorry I haven't replied for ages...been busy with work and church stuff etc... Thanks a mil for your advice. To answer some questions.... I'm 22. I briefly mentioned the fact of me meetin my bio dad to my mom a while back and she said that I should take into account that it might hurt my dad who has brought me up as his own. I've never mentioned it to him before because I really don't want to hurt him and I love him to bits...I would never dream of trying to replace him. My youngest brother is adopted and I no he wouldn't have a problem with him wanting to meeting his bio parents when he gets older (he's only 12 now) and my mom wouldn't either.
I know a fair bit about my bio dad...I know he's no a psycho and that his & my moms marriage fell apart because of repeated affairs on his part. I know he is married again and has two daughters. I met his mother before when I was younger but wasn't aware at the time that she was my gran. (I was only told about the whole thing when I was about 11...I can remember that day like it was yesterday...although I can't actually remember what my dad said when he told me)...
I'm still a bit confused about the whole thing and wonder if I'm making an issue out of nothing and should just forget about it and be happy that I have 2 loving parents....
Answer:
I don’t think you’re making an issue out of nothing. If you want to meet him go ahead sounds like your Dad would be ok with it. I mean you’re real or adopted Dad The one who raised you. Meeting your bio Dad could help with questions about whom you are and that’s good besides you may end up with a great relationship with both Dads people today have real and step dads all the time and deal with it just fine. And you’ve got to be curious about your half sisters aren’t you? I think it could be a great experience and a good mending time for everyone involved..
Peace