I propose that I can answer any objections to arranged marriages.

Welcome to www.thanktoday.com !!!

Question:
I propose that I can answer any objections to arranged marriages.¹ If you would like to test my proposition, here's what I would like you to do:²

Clearly state a single objection to arranged marriages.
Wait until I've answered that objection before bringing another one up.
Do not debate among yourselves; give me the chance to do what I've proposed I can do.

1 - I may very well be wrong in this proposition; that's what I'm trying to figure out.
2 - As much as I'd appreciate it, I do not really expect people to follow these "guidelines" nor do I have any authority (besides appeals to courtesy) to make them.

The reason I would like to do this is not to show that arranged marriages are the best form of marriages, but rather to address relationship issues from a new angle. I think that a lot of the problems (at least what I call problems) in the modern relationship world are directly caused by the way we view relationships. Thus, by taking a foreign view (such as arranged marriages), I hope to shed new light on old subjects.
Answer:
I'm personally interested in seeing how this thread will flow and will attempt to enforce the guidelines given by bob/daniel.
Please, wait until the existing objection has been discussed before bringing up a new one.
However, if you feel you have a new angle on the objection at hand after bob/daniel has had a chance to answer it, by all means speak up.
Answer:
An arranged marriage could be (for lack of a better synonym) arranged for a number of political (in the looser sense of the word) reasons that could result in various "less-than-ideal" situations.
For example:
Family A of Girl A wants to marry Girl A to Guy B of Family B because Family B is fantastically wealthy, while Family A has always lived in abject poverty. Family A wants to get Girl A out of aforementioned abject poverty by marrying her into a family, Family B, that is wealthy. Family B agrees to the marriage out of a desire to do good to those less fortunate than themselves. Guy B turns out to be an abusive, malevolent, perverted, adulterous man. Family A overlooked the character of Guy B because were too concerned with their political motive of increasing Girl A's social status / material standard of living. Family B overlooked the character of Guy B because he was part of the family. Girl A ends up beaten on the curb because she caught Guy B sleeping with the babysitter one evening and Guy B in a drunken rage hit her and kicked her out of the house.
You can think of other examples in the same vein. The problem here is that fallen creatures tend to make decisions guided by their fallen natures (i.e. greed, power struggles, pride, sexual immorality, et al), often to the detriment of others. This can easily happen in non-arranged marriages as well, but the influence of love / romance / attraction / etc provides a sort of negative check on such detrimental occurences because it is harder to fall in love with someone who is a terrible person than someone who is gentle and kind (this is not to say that it is impossible to fall blindly in love with a total arse, of course, because that obviously happens).
Love (agape, as well as the others) is one of the most profoundly divine things that human beings can experience, and when it is removed as one of the bases for selecting a mate (as it can be in the case of arranged marriages), the process of mate selection becomes increasingly more prone to the types of errors and mistakes that come as a result of basing decisions upon our sinful natures. Arranged marriages follow the pattern of marriage -> love which can lead to disasters like the one I described in my example. A typical non-arranged marriage follows the pattern love -> marriage, which is, in general, less apt to lead to disaster, providing that the love was 1 Cor. 13 style love and not "Oh, she's so hot!" love.
This came out more jumbled and longer than I hoped it would be. It should make a decent starting place, though.
In His love,
Nate
Answer:
Quick question: Would you say that Christ and the Church is an arranged marraige?
Answer:
In our modern culture it is not uncommon in our culture for a young Christian to not have Christian parents. Also, it is not uncommon for a young Christian to be more spirtually mature than their parent who possibly has been divorced. Therefore they would not be suited to find a strong Christian mate for their offspring nor would they be likely to want to arrange a marriage for their child.
Answer:
In the beginning the pattern set by God is one of first leaving father and mother. An arranged marriage woul have at its basis a marriage based on not leaving parental authority, cleaving to ones parents, and thus becoming one flesh at the will of a party not involved by divine decree.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Nate An arranged marriage could be (for lack of a better synonym) arranged for a number of political (in the looser sense of the word) reasons that could result in various "less-than-ideal" situations.
For example....
You can think of other examples in the same vein. The problem here is that fallen creatures tend to make decisions guided by their fallen natures (i.e. greed, power struggles, pride, sexual immorality, et al), often to the detriment of others. This can easily happen in non-arranged marriages as well, but the influence of love / romance / attraction / etc provides a sort of negative check on such detrimental occurences because it is harder to fall in love with someone who is a terrible person than someone who is gentle and kind (this is not to say that it is impossible to fall blindly in love with a total arse, of course, because that obviously happens). The same could easily be said about "ordinary" marriages. Certainly, there is no fool-proof method, but that does not necessarily discount the merit of arranged marriages.
The parents' love for their child could be the negative check on bad marriages. Again, love is not fool-proof either for preventing bad marriages. People protect abusers and marry jerks. So, again, this does not necessarily discount the merit of arranged marriages.
Love (agape, as well as the others) is one of the most profoundly divine things that human beings can experience, and when it is removed as one of the bases for selecting a mate (as it can be in the case of arranged marriages), the process of mate selection becomes increasingly more prone to the types of errors and mistakes that come as a result of basing decisions upon our sinful natures. Arranged marriages follow the pattern of marriage -> love which can lead to disasters like the one I described in my example. A typical non-arranged marriage follows the pattern love -> marriage, which is, in general, less apt to lead to disaster, providing that the love was 1 Cor. 13 style love and not "Oh, she's so hot!" love. Well, the thing is that agape love is a choice, isn't it? So, no matter who is selected for your spouse, you can love them.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Rob Quick question: Would you say that Christ and the Church is an arranged marraige? Yes and no. God the Father arranged it through His perfect freedom to do so. So, the marriage is both a choice and an arrangement.
Originally Posted by Sean In our modern culture it is not uncommon in our culture for a young Christian to not have Christian parents. Also, it is not uncommon for a young Christian to be more spirtually mature than their parent who possibly has been divorced. Therefore they would not be suited to find a strong Christian mate for their offspring nor would they be likely to want to arrange a marriage for their child. Yeah, but Christians marry non-Christians all the time. Neither arranged marriages, nor "normal" marriages are fool-proof.
Originally Posted by BillSPrestonEsq In the beginning the pattern set by God is one of first leaving father and mother. An arranged marriage woul have at its basis a marriage based on not leaving parental authority, cleaving to ones parents, and thus becoming one flesh at the will of a party not involved by divine decree. ~~You win.~~
Ok, but what if you look at it this way? Submission to your parents' choice of who to marry is your final act of obedience before leaving their authority and cleaving to your spouse. When the Bible speaks of leaving father and mother and becoming one with another, it is speaking about marriage, not dating. So, isn't it possible that taking this step is not necessary until the time of the wedding?
Answer:
Originally Posted by bobthecockroach Yeah, but Christians marry non-Christians all the time. Neither arranged marriages, nor "normal" marriages are fool-proof.
...ummmm I don't think the "nobody's perfect" response really answers the objection.
Answer:
Originally Posted by bobthecockroach Yes and no. God the Father arranged it through His perfect freedom to do so. So, the marriage is both a choice and an arrangement.
Yeah, but Christians marry non-Christians all the time. Neither arranged marriages, nor "normal" marriages are fool-proof.
~~You win.~~
Ok, but what if you look at it this way? Submission to your parents' choice of who to marry is your final act of obedience before leaving their authority and cleaving to your spouse. When the Bible speaks of leaving father and mother and becoming one with another, it is speaking about marriage, not dating. So, isn't it possible that taking this step is not necessary until the time of the wedding?
Scripture? I don't think you can make any case for this assumption. And fundamentally, when scripture talks about leaving father and mother, there is a process here, not a wedding day, leave, cling, & have sex. A process is spoken of, and not an act. It is speaking not of marriage, but of a pattern leading to marriage. hence it would seem rather foolhardy to telescope a process into an evenings activities.
Answer:
I would say that you've got me on that one, Bill.
In spite of my defeat, I'd still answer any other objections.