Question:
It seams that my friends and I are always disagreeing about why I do what I do, and what I need to do about it. So I'm going to take a vote, and leave what I do to the descression of how the vote turns out..


I have been studying myself latley, watching what I do, and trying to put it all together to form a conclusion.. what I've noticed is that every time I do something that is, or comes close to hurting myself, I always tell someone. Every time I feel like hurting myself, I start talking about depression to people.
And when I'm hurting, all I want is for someone to notice, and to talk to me, and to show they care,

Hms, I had other examples, but I can't remember them but anyways, to me, all that says that perhaps I am like this for attention.

Furthermore, if I am this way because of wanting attention... then the best way to break out of this is to not talk to ANYONE about it when I am like this. If I am really going to break away from it, I would need to not recieve any attention in these situations, therefore I shouldn't be seeking any form of help.

That's my conclusion.
Answer:
The desire for attention and to know that people care is a quite natural human desire. Therefore, my best guess (and it is just that, a guess) is that you are not doing it for attention but that your desire for attention and caring manifests itself most fully when you are hurting. I'd also think that if you were doing it for attention, you'd know that.
If I'm right, then the question that remains is whether it's better for you to keep it to yourself or share it with others. I would guess (again, a guess) that sharing it with others makes you feel better. Therefore, I would say that you should continue sharing it with others.
Most importantly, however, I think you should continue examining yourself to see if you can get a more full understanding of "why you do what you do" and "what you need to do about it."
Answer:
Originally Posted by Becky Furthermore, if I am this way because of wanting attention... then the best way to break out of this is to not talk to ANYONE about it when I am like this. If I am really going to break away from it, I would need to not recieve any attention in these situations, therefore I shouldn't be seeking any form of help.
God created us to be in fellowship with each other. If we didn't have any _needs_ - an need to know that others care, for example - that fellowship wouldn't exist. So there's nothing wrong with needing attention - there are just right and wrong ways to seek that attention.
It's brought me an incredible freedom lately to realize that it's OK for me to be a needy person - that God doesn't expect me to be self-sufficient, and that there's nothing wrong with making those needs known to others. That gives me the freedom to walk up to a friend and say, "I'm feeling really discouraged right now. Can you pray for me?"
The danger comes when instead of acknowledging those needs, we try to manipulate people into meeting those needs without acknowledging what we're doing. When we do that, we end up feeling wronged if they don't give us attention, and if they do, we aren't properly thankful because we're unable to admit that a need of ours has been met.
So instead of resolving not to show or tell about your needs to anyone, you'd be better off just being an openly needy person - not demanding that people meet those needs, but admitting that those needs are real and being very thankful when people do meet them. I've certainly found that that's a much better way to live than just saying "I've got Jesus and He's all I need" and hiding my pride under talk about self-sufficiency and not imposing on anyone else.
Answer:
yeah, like whoever else said, it's a pretty normal response...
doesn't it make you feel better if you talk to someone about depression? doesn't it help the hurt when someone spends some time with you? it's therapeutic. it's good for you!
Answer:
Blindman, needy people are a burden to people though. If you admit you are in need, people will feel obligated to help you, wont they?
Answer:
Originally Posted by Becky Blindman, needy people are a burden to people though. If you admit you are in need, people will feel obligated to help you, wont they? so admit you need help to people you know love you and care for you and won't feel burdened but feel happy to help you.
Answer:
Blindman, needy people are a burden to people though. If you admit you are in need, people will feel obligated to help you, wont they? But people want to be charitable too.. it makes them feel better about themselves too.. thats the beauty of fellowship.. it helps the person helping and the person being helped.
Answer:
I think you do it for some attetion, but that it really is normal.
and if you would keep it to yourself you could get in a downward spiral. at least, I think that could happen.
If people are really getting annoyed by what you do, they will tell you (if they really are your friends).
Answer:
Originally Posted by Becky Blindman, needy people are a burden to people though. If you admit you are in need, people will feel obligated to help you, wont they?
I would say that if you admit that you are in need, people who already _wanted_ to help you and _wanted_ to show that they care about you will be able to do that. I never feel that it's a burden when someone comes to me needing help or encouragement; in a way it's a gift to me that they would trust me and seek me out, that they would _allow_ me to help them instead of trying to help themselves.
The only time you become a burden to people is when you _demand_ or _expect_ their support instead of receiving it as a gift, with thankfulness. You can't _force_ anyone to help you, but there is nothing wrong with admitting that you need help.
I have hurt friends of mine many times because I needed support and encouragement, and they could see that, but when they tried to reach out to me I said "I don't want to be a burden to you" or "Knowing that God loves me should be enough for me" or in some other way refused the gift they were trying to give me and rejected the love they were trying to show. I don't think that my self-sufficiency stemmed from a desire not to be a burden to anyone - it stemmed from pride, not wanting to be _endebted_ to anyone.
It's possible to go too far in the other direction - always complaining to your friends about everything that is going wrong for you, so that being with you is no longer enjoyable. There's a difference between inviting people to help you and trying to make people _pity_ you, but if you're paying attention to what is going on in your mind and your heart, it's not hard to tell when you've gone too far in that direction.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Becky Blindman, needy people are a burden to people though. If you admit you are in need, people will feel obligated to help you, wont they?
Becky, thats why you have brothers and sisters in Christ.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Becky what I've noticed is that every time I do something that is, or comes close to hurting myself, I always tell someone. Every time I feel like hurting myself, I start talking about depression to people.
And when I'm hurting, all I want is for someone to notice, and to talk to me, and to show they care
I think that it's good that you talk out your feelings with people. depression is a dangerous thing to bottle up and keep to yourself, I know from personal experience. I think that it would be worse for you to not talk about things with your friends. the beauty of friendship is that they will always stick by you, through good and bad, and that they are there to listen when you need to talk, to offer advice even if you don't ask for it, and to provide a shoulder to cry on.
you would hurt both yourself and your friends if you cut yourself off from them and didn't communicate your ups and your downs. your friends love you, and it hurts them when they see you suffering but can't do anything to help you. I would say find a couple of your most trusted friends, and say "when I'm hurting myself, or am feeling depressed, is it okay if I call you up so we can talk?" I think it's good when asking them about this, to also let them know that if they ever need to talk or know that someone cares about them, they can call you, too.
everyone needs to know they are loved and cared about, and everyone needs help in one area or another. you aren't doing anything wrong by wanting care and help.
Answer:
thanks for the advice guys.. Seams this thread doesn't matter now.. because I was insisting to one of my friends that this whole thing is a good idea and all, he gave me till tuesday night to tell my parents i need perfessional help, or he will.

Sooo.. unless I can bargen, hide, lie, or cheat my way out of it.. My fate is pritty much sealed on this issue.

thanks for the advice though, I really apreciate your input
Answer:
sup ducky,
its perfectly normal to want to hide things...but as you recently found out through me...so i need not to tell u anything about that.
And if your "friends" think you are a burden to them then they are not being the godly Christian friends that they are called to be. If we are to be "christ-followers" and living as Christ did then how is you being a burden to them being "Christ-like"???
Show me people in God's Word that came to Christ, and were needy, and came in faith, name a few that God said "be gone, you are a burden to me"
To my knowledge I dont think He did. He welcomed them in to His love and grace and showed what He had to offer.
unfourtanetly im being distracted and must go, hope that makes a little sense to you. Love ya sis
Answer:
You are looking for attention, but what your talking about is not good or healthy. You really should talk to someone in the church. Possiblly get hooked up with a "big brother" type person that you can really talk to about whatever is going on in your life and can help you get through difficult times.