Question:
Ok, so I have a friend, who's a girl. I like her as more than a friend, and she knows it. At one point, we liked each other as more than friends, but decided it was a bad idea to do anything about those feelings. Now, she's dating someone else, and I don't know if she still likes me or not. She sort of acts like she does, but like I said...she's dating someone else...and besides that, things have been a little messed up with us lately. We're getting along well now, but it's still a little awkward sometimes.
Anyway, the guy she's dating is not a Christian. She says he's not dragging her away from God, OR bringing her closer to him ("either-or"). But I know, and most of you know, the difference of this. There is no sitting on the fence...you're either getting closer to God, or drifting farther away from him. And in relationships, that person is either going to help you get closer to God, or drag you away from him. Usually (I've never heard an exception to this rule, but I'll give it the benefit of the doubt), when the other person is not a Christian...they tend to drag the Christian down. It's a very difficult thing to date someone, and get close to someone who isn't a Christian...and still remain an increasingly stronger Christian. It's next-to-impossible to keep growing stronger, when you keep getting closer to someone who cares nothing about God.
Now, my problem is...what do I do?
On one hand, I want to talk to her about this. I want to at least tell her to watch out, or to warn her about this. To explain to her what it's going to be like (they've sort of just started out) trying to hold on to a relationship with a non-christian, and still try to grow stronger as a Christian herself.
On the other hand, if I do that, it's most certainly going to look like I'm just doing it for my own agenda; just trying to turn her away from him, trying to break them up, trying to get her for myself kinda-thing.
So far, I've pretty much managed to avoid anything like that. I'm not "against" her dating him (see my blog for more info on this), and I've managed to avoid seeming defensive about him, or offended by their relationship. But I don't like the thought of him dragging her down either.
Should I talk to her about this? If so, how can I do it to avoid seeming like a self-centered jerk? I think that no matter how hard I try, it's still going to seem at least a little suspicious. I really don't want to mess things up between us.
Any takers?
Answer:
Well, I think, give your situation, it'd make it a bit difficult for her to really take you seriously if you were to approach her about it. It's very possible that she may simply justify what she's doing by chosing to blow you off as "trying to make a move" since she knows you like her. I would think it'd be more useful for one of her other friends or a leader to approach her and talk to her about it.
Answer:
My sister dated a guy who claimed to follow Christ but I knew different. She was very deticated to God before she started dating this guy. He parties, drinks the occasional beer, gambles and some other stuff I wish to ommit. Anyway, I had to let her learn by hearself becuase when I let her know I was worried, she thought that I just didn't like the guy and that made her angry at me. I have no clue what it is like in your situation as a person who like her but my sister moved a good bit away from God during that year and she is coming back now that he is not her boyfriend anymore. I hope this doesn't discourage you but sometimes you must sit back and watch. I sure learned from my sisters experiance and now I don't have to go through it the hard way as she did.
Love,
Sizz
Answer:
Originally Posted by Sizzlebyfire He parties, drinks the occasional beer, gambles and some other stuff I wish to ommit.
I go to parties occasionally, drink beer, and gamble occasionally and I follow Christ. I have sex too, but only with my wife.
Answer:
*gets sick mental images* thank you for the information chris.
let her know that you're there for her. be her friend and be a good influence.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Singing&Singing *gets sick mental images* thank you for the information chris.

Answer:
1. confront her and tell her anyways. Just tell her that you are worried for her and if she thinks that yoru trying to make a move, just tell her as a friend that you really dont want to see her with hime or whatever else you have to say. If you 2 are good enough friends then she will understand that you mean it sincerely.
2. Let her stay with him. You never know, maybe she will draw him to the Lord. It could be that God has a purpose for this relationship. She has a great oppurtunity to save a soul and lead him to christ
Answer:
Originally Posted by IAMBORED It could be that God has a purpose for this relationship. She has a great oppurtunity to save a soul and lead him to christ
Assuming he's lost. He claims to follow Christ and we've been given no reason so far to question the sincerity of his faith.
Answer:
Originally Posted by ChrisHarbison Assuming he's lost. He claims to follow Christ and we've been given no reason so far to question the sincerity of his faith.
True...thx for correcting me
Answer:
Originally Posted by ChrisHarbison Assuming he's lost. He claims to follow Christ and we've been given no reason so far to question the sincerity of his faith. i think you guys are confused. i'm a christian, she's a christian, but she's in a relationship with a guy that isn't a christian.
Answer:
Originally Posted by agrimes87 i think you guys are confused. i'm a christian, she's a christian, but she's in a relationship with a guy that isn't a christian.
Yeah i know that you and her are Christian . Did my advice help at all
?
Answer:
Yeah....well i didn't really do anything yet. But it helped me think a lot.
Thanks everyone....
Answer:
Originally Posted by IAMBORED 2. Let her stay with him. You never know, maybe she will draw him to the Lord. It could be that God has a purpose for this relationship. She has a great oppurtunity to save a soul and lead him to christ Furthermore, if he is not Christian, this relationship would be against biblical command. Everyone say it with me:
2 Corinthians 6:14
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
However, as sure as Agrimes is, he can't be certain that this boy is a non-Christian. Unless the boy has talked with him and said so